Sempiternal
by Bel Watson
Summary: "And even if I know it's futile, even if it makes no difference because she can't look at me... I still love her. Unconditionally. Devotedly. Hopefully. Strongly. Quietly. Distantly. My love for her is as constant as the beating of my heart, as my even breathing at night before I close my eyes and see her smile. My love for Go Minyu is sempiternal"
1. Prologue

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

_I watched "You're Beautiful" very late and joined the fandom immediately and, of course, I felt heartbroken because Shinwoo doesn't get Minam. Totally unfair! His poor heart, how many times did it get broken? As often as mine every time I saw it happen. The problem is that I always thought that her relationship with Tae-Kyung was doomed. As a character he is too prideful, he has too many mummy issues and he's too self-centred. Even after realising his love for her, he still couldn't love her properly (in my opinion). I always saw their relationship as something it wouldn't last, something it would worn out and end badly. But Shinwoo... he always loved her clearly and better from the start. He deserved her. So I'm writing what happens after Minyu comes back from Africa, how her relationship with Tae-Kyung deteriorates and she realises that sometimes you don't fall for the right one, but there's still a second chance._

_I apologise in advance because I'm no expert in Korean culture (I'm a bit more experienced with Japanese but these are very different). I'll try to be as accurate as possible and if someone more experienced can point out my mistakes I would highly appreciate it._

_I hope that if (hopefully!) someone reads this you'll enjoy it. I'm writing it in order to comfort my own heart and Shinwoo's for he deserved better._

_Bel, xx_

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><p><strong>-1-<strong>

"Will I see you tomorrow?" she asks over the phone. I hold it against my ear as I try to keep the smile at bay for I'm home and I don't want the others to see me grinning as I talk to her. And by others I mean Jeremy, who would just snatch the mobile away, or Tae-Kyung who would give me the death glare. Minam wouldn't really mind.

As I pour tea for me I reply, "of course. We're all gonna be there tomorrow waiting for you. It's been a long time and we've missed you." _I've missed you_, I add in my head but I know I can't say those words out loud and it is not hard to hide them. I'm an expert at hiding my feelings and keeping the collected facade.

"It's been wonderful here but I can't wait to be back. I've missed home and you, guys!" she exclaims and I smile. Even if she says she's missed us all, I'm sure she is picturing just one face in his head, and it's not mine.

The piercing jab in my heart almost doesn't hurt anymore. _Almost_.

"I gotta say, I'm happy you accepted to come live with us again. You'll love your new room," I tell her thinking of the new room we got arranged just for her. The house is humongous, it was idiotic we didn't have another room. We also made sure to have a spare one for unexpected guests. Even if Tae-Kyung doesn't mind sharing room again, Jeremy, Minam and I oppose strongly.

"It's gonna be like the good 'ol days!" I can totally see her happy grin in my mind, that contagious smile filled with innocence and kindness. "Oh, Shinwoo-oppa, I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Have a safe flight. I'll see you soon," I reply with a wide smile because she's called me oppa without me having to remind her to use that honorific. She got so used to call me hyung that changing to the appropriate oppa was a slow and hard process.

We hang up and I look at the screen now in black, still fighting the smile on my lips. It's been almost six months and I still love her. I haven't seen her in six months, but my heart still races when I hear her voice. I know she won't love me again and I should stop being a fool, I know it's hopeless, but I just can't help myself. And to be honest, I'm content with just being his friend even after I confessed my feelings for her.

I deceived her once. Surely, I can make her believe I don't house these feelings for her anymore. It shouldn't be hard, I'm an expert by now. I'll keep hiding my one-sided love.


	2. Welcome Back

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

_I RECEIVED ONE COMMENT! I didn't expect that at all! I'm so happy. Whoever it was, thank you so much for reading this :D I really appreciate it. And if there's someone else reading, thank you, too!_

_Bel, xx_

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><p><strong>Welcome Back<strong>

**.**

I am certain that if any other of us had gone to Africa for six months, we wouldn't be this excited. Even Taekyung looks enthusiastic and ready to jump, but I know him and I'm positive the moment he sees her he'll pretend everything is calm and he's barely missed her. I don't know how he can be like that. I know that if I were the lucky one by her side I would always show her how much she means to me, I would always reassure her. I wouldn't mind making a fool of myself as long as she never feels insecure by my side.

Jeremy, at my side, looks like a puppy that knows its owner is about to come home. He can't stand still with all the exhilaration running through his veins and seeing him makes me smile faintly. I haven't talked to him about it but I sometimes wonder if he still has feelings for Minyu. He also fell in love with the girl who came into our lives pretending to be her twin brother. Maybe he moved on, or maybe he's like me who can't get rid of these feelings for a girl who'll never look in my direction.

Minam, on the other hand, looks as comfortable as ever, as if nothing of this bothers him. He keeps the cool image even when his sister is about to come back.

I keep my hands in my pockets because I don't want anyone to see how I can't stop fidgeting, willing time to go faster so I can see her once and for all.

We are all sitting and just waiting, trying to go unnoticed so our eyes are normally on the floor, avoiding all eye contact. I occasionally take my mobile out just to check the time and make sure she's getting closer. I don't expect her to call _me_ the moment her plane lands, she'll surely call Taekyung, but I still hope.

Silly me, No matter what, a small piece of me is always hoping. What a fool optimistic.

"Minyu!" Jeremy shouts before anyone can take in notice of what's happening. As he catches us all off guard we can't stop him before he sprints towards Minyu to squeeze her in a tight hug. He's allowed to do that, or at least he has an excuse for his behaviour. I stare at his figure embracing her with jealousy in the pit of my stomach because I'm not allowed to do the same no matter how much I want to. Even if I'm Minyu's closest friend, I still can't go and just hug her like Jeremy does.

Taekyung ends my agony by grabbing Jeremy by the collar and pulling him apart from a now fairly suffocated girl. She laughs when she sees Jeremy whining because he can't show his affection. "Remember you're in Korea, not in the UK," Taekyung scolds Jeremy and the blond boy pouts childishly.

Minyu only giggles and my eyes are on her, diving into every detail. I haven't seen her in months and she's changed a lot yet she's the same person. Her smile is the same even if her hair is longer now, touching her shoulders, even if her skin is tanner or even if she's dressed like a girl. Up to now there're only a handful of times that I've seen her dressed like a girl and the sight is always breathtaking. I kind of prefer her dressed as a guy because it's easier to take it, hence easier for me to control myself.

"Hello there, nuna," Minam intervenes in my staring to his sister. He gives her a hug and I still feel a bit jealous that he can do that, but it's not the same as with Jeremy. "Missed you loads. Did you have a good flight?" he asks and Minyu nods vigorously.

"Go Minyu," Tarkyung speaks up, his loud and firm voice so characteristic of his arrogant personality. "Welcome back."

Although his words are cold and sharp, he's smiling at her and I know that's all what she sees. She doesn't care that he can't utter affectionate words or what he really feels, she's satisfied with just a smile. I've always thought she deserves better than that.

Minyu smiles brightly and jumps forward to give him a hug that he wasn't expecting. She almost acts like Jeremy at this point. "I missed you, hyung-nim!" she exclaims with her face in his chest and my own heart is twisting inside, pain and jealousy tearing me apart from within.

Taekyung awkwardly grabs her shoulders and pushes her to look her in the eyes. I'm sure he's uncomfortable with the display of affection but when he sees her, his expression softens. I decide to intervene before he hugs her this time.

"Minyu, welcome back. We've missed you very much," I say walking up to her. Taekyung lets go of her and now she is looking at me with her precious smile.

I've missed her so much.

"Shinwoo-oppa!" she says brightly and I take another step closer. I can't hug her but I can't just not touch her. My hands reach out for her before I'm even conscious I'm doing it. Soon I'm ruffling her hair in the way I always did. She closes her eyes and makes this extremely cute face that makes my heart race.

"Your hair is quite longer now. It suits you," I add and I really mean it. She looks even more beautiful than before and I didn't think that was possible.

"You look beautiful!" Jeremy chirps and Taekyung snorts in complaint so he immediately shuts up. I, reluctantly, pull away from Minyu's hair and keep the smile. How I wish I could hug her.

"Let's go home, she must be tired from the flight," Minam reminds us all acting like a brother. Since he's come to actually join us he hasn't really had the chance to act like a brother for different reasons.

"Right, let's go," I agree and she nods energetically. I bet she's about to fall asleep.

Jeremy and I help with the suitcases and by the time I look ahead I see Minyu and Taekyung holding hands. My chest aches with longing, dying to be the one who holds her hand. Even today I ask why it couldn't be me. Why.


	3. Hugs

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

_I can't believe people are reading this! thank you so so much! :D you make me immensely hapy_

_Bel, xx_

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><p><strong>Hugs<strong>

**.**

We all walk inside the house after Jeremy rushes past us. I smile to myself knowing exactly why he is behaving like this. Not that it's unusual in him or anything, but still. Minyu tilts her head to the right in that adorable way she always does when she's confused. My eyes are suddenly glued on her and I don't even realise how I just stop walking while everyone else carries on inside, leaving me behind. I sigh when I notice myself standing alone with a suitcase as my only company. I'm about to resume when the door burst open once again.

"Oppa, don't stay behind!" Minyu exclaims and I blink in surprise.

At my reaction she smiles widely and chuckles before stepping forward to grab my wrist and pull me inside.

"Come on, come on! They are waiting," she hurries me still dragging me and I'm too dumbfounded as to react.

Did she already see what's waiting for her inside or did she come after me before that? Why isn't Taekyung with her?

"Leave the suitcase here, Jeremy said we had to go to the rooftop immediately!" she sings-song and my smile comes up. She hasn't gone there yet, she came for me first.

Even if it's nothing, it still makes me happy. And I allow myself taking pleasure of this short and innocuous moment. She's holding me, she's guiding me and after so long I feel like my heart is soaring. I push to the farthest and darkest places of my mind all thoughts related to Minyu and Taekyung. Right now, the girl holding my wrist is no one's girl and I still have a chance with her. She could still love me. I feel tempted to stop cold on my feet and pull her until she's trapped in my arms with my face in her now longer hair.

I think I love her new hair.

"Minyu-yah?" I call putting a bit of resistance before we reach our destination.

"Yes?" She stops to turn around and look at me. Her eyes and smile are still as innocent as when I met her, so open and trustworthy.

"Is okay if I hug you?" I ask before I realise what I'm doing. She doesn't look surprised or scandalised with my question and I gulp, waiting for a response.

She doesn't give me a verbal reply, though, she launches forward and suddenly she's in my arms, hugging me just like she did with Taekyung. Her arms are tightly around my waist and her face against my chest, and I'm sure she can't hear my heartbeats for my heart has stopped

And then boom, it's back to life and beating with the force of a thunder storm. My own arms wrap slowly around her, pulling her closer, and still I hesitantly lower my head until my nose is buried in her hair. I breathe in and her scent fills my nostrils: I feel weak and strong at the same time, I feel like this is all I need and I want to freeze time and live in here forever, with her in my arms.

She's always said I'm warm but she's wrong. I'm cold inside, like an iceberg, and for so long I thought nothing could melt the ice inside my soul. But then Minyu came like sunshine in the morning and melted all the ice inside of me. She's warm and I'm addicted to her, to that feeling. After meeting her I realised I didn't like feeling cold.

Right now it's the warmest I've felt since she left to Africa.

But way too soon Minyu pulls back and even if I want to keep her in my arms I let her go and try to smile at her despite the pain in my chest. She smiles brightly.

"I got used to hugs in Africa," she tells me. "I was afraid you'd be uncomfortable if I just hugged you. I know Jeremy won't mind or my oppa, hyung-nim already gave me permission but I… I wasn't sure with you because…"

She doesn't finish the sentence and by the way she looks down and loses the smile I know what she's thinking of.

With pain in my heart I reply, "don't worry about that. It's been a long time, everything is settled. Aren't we close friends? You can hug me whenever you feel like it," I add and in my mind I wonder if that's a wise idea. What if I can't take her hugs? Her proximity clearly has a big effect on me.

Her head shoots up and her eyes are bright and happy once again, the smile back in her lips and that's all I need to know that even if it's hard for me, it's the right thing to do. If it makes her happy, I would do anything.

"Let's go?" I ask and her eyes widen remembering what we were supposed to do so she turns on her heels and rushes again. She suddenly stops and looks back over her shoulder.

"Oppa, hurry up!"

I smile and follow her until we reach the rooftop where Jeremy has everything settled for a welcome party. I doubt Minyu is surprised, yet she stills acts like it and her delight is clear, making us all smile, even Taekyung.

"Welcome back, Go Minyu!" the chorus of voices sings, but I don't join them.

Then the party proceeds like many other times, but in this occasion there's a clear difference that feels like a dagger through my heart. In all the other parties it was always me next to Minyu because I'm the closest to her. It was always me sharing food with her, making her laugh and this time I'm the one across from her whilst Taekyung is by her side.

Although it's a happy party and everyone seems to have fun, it leaves a bittersweet taste in my mouth and an uncomfortable feeling in my guts. I go to bed that night feeling like I ate something bad but I'm sure the reason of my state has nothing to do with food and much to do with the only couple in this house.


	4. Ice Cream

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

_I'm back from my small holidays and ready to carry on with the story! I have loads of chapters ready, so updates will be very frequent!_

_Bel, xx_

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><p><strong>Ice Cream<strong>

**.**

The next morning I wake up feeling relieved because there are no plans for today. We've been working hard, travelling to other countries to promote our work, meeting fans and whatnot. In a way I'm grateful for that because for the past six months, it's allowed me to keep my mind busy and away from certain girl. Yes, I accept that my feelings have not gone away, but that does not mean I have not tried to get over her.

When I leave my room, after a morning shower and getting dressed casually for a lazy day, I notice that the house is awfully quiet. I thought that now that Minyu is back everything would be more chaotic, especially with Jeremy being overly loud. But I hear nothing. No conversation, no laughter, no anything.

Weird.

I go downstairs to the kitchen wondering if maybe I jus slept too much and everyone left, but that's not likely because it's not that late. And I confirm it when I find Minyu in the kitchen, sitting alone, eating her breakfast. Yes, only her.

"Morning," I say getting her attention. She looks back and once our eyes meet her smile greets me.

"Morning, Oppa! Did you sleep well?" she asks and I nod as I approach.

I pour a cup of tea for me because I need it to start the day or to just feel calm at any moment. "Want some?" I ask her and she nods energetically. I pour a cup for her and then sit by her side.

It's been so long since we sat like this. Last night Taekyung was by her side the whole time and now that he's not around I can actually be near Minyu. There's something soothing about having her near, like sitting by the heating in a cold and rainy day.

"Where is everyone?" I ask, not because I want them to join us or because I miss them, just because I'm grateful that they aren't here, especially the leader of our band.

"Oppa went to see Heyi," Minyu starts and I can tell by the tone in her voice that she doesn't particularly like that. "Jeremy took Jolie for a stroll and Hyung-nim had to go to the studio for work." Her voice reflects her desire for the situation to be different.

"And you couldn't go with him?" I question because I'm sure she wants to be with Taekyung.

"He didn't want to be disturbed and he wanted to concentrate. Once he's done he'll come back and we'll do something, or that he said." I look at her with pity because she doesn't deserve to be left behind. Taekyung should take her with him, especially because she's just come back after six months. Doesn't he really want to be with her? If it were me, I wouldn't let her leave my side.

I guess none of them knows how to be in a relationship. From that only time when Taekyung did something to hold her, to be with her, they didn't have time to actually be a couple. She soon left to Ghana and we were thrown at loads and loads of work. Now it is their chance to be a couple and he goes to work leaving her all alone in the house. Really? I know he's dense but this is absurd.

"It's okay, Oppa. Really," she says waving her hands in front of her face when she notices the way I'm looking at her. "I don't want to be a bother for him. Work is important. I'll see him later."

I sigh. Taekyung's priorities are messed up because Minyu should be more important than work; plus, how could Minyu be a bother? They could've gone together and then she could've gone seen others while he worked, she didn't need to be _there_ with him per say.

Well, his loss.

"Do you have plans for today?" I ask her and her head tilts to her right making her look so cute. "Because I don't and I feel like getting ice cream. What do you say? Would you come with me?"

Her smile widens and I don't need a verbal answer, but still she says, "I'd love to."

So we finish with our tea and then off we go. If Taekyung won't spend his time with her, then I will. I won't waste a second I can spend with her. I'll enjoy having her in the passenger seat of _my_ car. Even when she was pretending to be Minam I didn't really have this chance so I won't let it slip through my fingers now. I can finally go out with her as a girl, without hiding. If she weren't with Taekyung this would be our date. In my head, I'll think of this as that date we should've had long ago if Taekyung wouldn't have come between us. Seriously, his timing was always _perfect_, and I mean it with the upmost sarcasm.

I park my car and before we get out I put on some thick and big black framed glasses to disguise myself a little. People will still recognise me, but not as fast as they would if I were not wearing them. With her now longer hair and dressed as the girl she is, Minyu won't have a problem.

"Let's go?" I ask and she nods.

We get out and walk side by side to the ice cream parlour. I've come here before, once when I was walking alone, missing her and not feeling in the mood to be with the other members of the band. I found this place and I immediately thought of that phone-date we once had. I visited the shop and during the whole time I wondered if one day I could bring her here. If one day I could treat her with an ice cream and show her my face at the same time.

That day will never stop haunting me. How close we were. Even today I ponder how things would've been different if she had taken that step closer, if Taekyung hadn't called her, if that couple hadn't been between us, if I had told her a few seconds before. If... what if?

But now, today I finally have the chance and even if it's too late, I can at least put my mind at ease. I can replace a memory with a new one, a better one.

We sit at a table by the window. I know it's not the best idea because I could easily be recognised, but I know she would like it. "Would you let me pick one for you?" I ask her looking at the menu a waitress immediately hands us.

"Oh, sure!" she agrees and I smile. It's such a small thing but it makes me happy that I can do this for her.

I ask for an ice cream sandwich, like the one I ordered for her during our phone-date. I ask the same for me and when they arrive her expression shows she recognises what's in front of her.

"This is just like the free ice cream I got, remember? When you were guiding me through the phone," she says happily and I smile.

"Now it's me giving it to you. Enjoy it," I tell her and her smile is so precious that it even makes the ice cream taste more special.

Many times I wished for this to happen. Many times I dared to dream of a date with her in which I would take her to eat something delicious and then we would go shopping and finally to the amusement park and we would ride the Ferris Wheel during the sunset and right there I would tell her my feelings. I always wake up before she gives me a reply, which is far more merciful than the reality: she turns me down.

"This is so delicious!" she beams and my smile widens as I push all those dreams far away. Even if we are here now it still isn't a date and she belongs to another man. I can only keep dreaming.

"I'm glad you like it. Is it better than the one you had on your own?" I question and she nods without a second of hesitation.

"Much better!" she sings and I would like to believe that it's because now we are eating it together. "Everything tastes better when you're with your friends."

I don't let the smile on my lips disappear with that statement. Even if I'm only acknowledged as a friend, it's still my company what makes the moment better. If a friend is all I can be, then I shall be her best friend.

"I agree. Do you wanna go somewhere else after this?" She shrugs. "What about the arcade?"

Her eyes widen in excitement. "Yes, yes, let's go there!" I smile, happy that she likes my suggestion. "By the way, we have to go to the amusement park now that I'm back. We can invite everyone else and have a great day together."

A part of me is happy that she still remembers I like the amusement park and I've wanted to go for a long time, but the fact that she immediately thinks of inviting everyone else breaks my heart a little. Anyhow, I'm used to that by now so I don't need long to recover.

"That's a great idea," I lie because I don't want to go anywhere with Taekyung and Minyu together, but I can't tell her that if I want her to believe that I don't see her as that any longer. "We have to plan it."

She smiles so brightly that I don't care anymore if the whole label comes with us, as long as she is this happy. That is all I care about.


	5. Blooming

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

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><p><strong>Blooming<strong>

**.**

Minyu's laughter fills my ears and her smiley face is all I can see. I'm losing at every game we play but I don't care because she's having fun and so am I. I'm laughing at my own clumsiness. I know I'm better than this, but I get distracted and lose track of what I'm doing.

She is, by nature, a very clumsy girl but she also always tries her hardest and that's one of those qualities I love about her. She's so strong and she'll fight until her body gives up, and even then her mind will still try. That's so admirable and I think that seeing her being like that also made me try and try again to reach her with my feelings. I got rejected over and over again, some times she did it even unconsciously, but I kept trying. I couldn't give up. I felt that if I wanted to be worthy of her I had to try my hardest.

But not even that was enough for her.

What did Taekyung do? How did he win her heart? He mistreated her, he isolated her, he pushed her away, he rejected her... And she always came back to him. Was it because he was so awful all the time that those few times in which he was nice made a difference? Was it because she thought he was the only one who knew about her secret? But I found out first. What if I had told her about it the moment I did? What if I had been the one who protected her openly? I did, I was always looking after her but I never thought she had to know, I just wanted her to be safe. Maybe I should've told her. Or maybe I should've offered to share my room with her instead of being pissed because she ditched me for Taekyung.

If I could go back and fix all the wrong things I did, all the wrong choices I made... I wonder if I'd still be in the same place. I wonder if one day I'll stop asking what if.

"Oppa, are you all right?" a voice asks me and I blink in surprise, slowly coming back to the present. Minyu is looking at me with worry in her eyes still holding the stack, no more discs on the air hockey table. I look at the board and realise she scored them all. I don't remember even playing. No wonder she seems worried, I completely zooned out.

"Mianhae, I got distracted," I say and she furrows her eyebrows, not buying my excuse. "Wanna play again? This time I'll be serious," I offer but her expression won't change.

"Oppa, if you have somewhere to go or you don't like it in here, we can go somewhere else. Maybe you're not feeling well with the ice cream," she ponders and I shake my head. The only problem is my greed because I still want her, because even being her best friend is not enough for me. I want more, I want all of her.

"I'm perfectly fine. Let's play again, shall we?" I ask and don't wait for a reply, I insert more coins for a new game and soon all the discs are on the table again. Before she can make a comment, I start playing and this time I focus on it.

Soon her laughter is my reward and I try to focus on only having fun with her. I end up laughing, too, fighting to score more points than she does. Finally, I win one match and I celebrate throwing my arms in the air.

"Yes! Finally," I exclaim laughing and she does the same. "It was my turn to win, you haven't given me a break."

"I'm amazing," she sings-song showing off her muscles and that only makes her look funny so we both burst out laughing. "What next? Baskets?" she asks and I nod so we head to that one.

She hands me the balls so I can throw them and make baskets as fast as I can, but we start to get too anxious and we drop the balls and scream because we are losing time and it's all chaos. Minyu can't stop laughing and that makes her even clumsier and we finally lose because we can't make it in time.

_"_Mianhae_,"_ she says laughing and I doubt she is actually sorry. Not that I care, though.

"It's fine, it's fine," I tell her grabbing her wrists so she can stop rubbing her hands. "Let's find another game," I say instead and she nods her head vigorously.

But we can't make it to another game because her mobile goes off and we stop on our tracks. I let go of her wrist, I hadn't even noticed that I was still holding it. She takes the gadget out and looks at the screen and I can tell by the way her face lights up that the one calling is Taekyung. I feel the jabs of pain in my heart as my spirit sinks because, once again, he interrupts us in the _perfect _moment, and I mean that with the upmost sarcasm.

"Hyung-nim!" she exclaims and I turn around because seeing her face is hurting me now. "Oh, you're home. No, I went out with Shinwoo-oppa," she tells him and I grin imagining Taekyung's expression right now. "We came to the arcade! We're having loads of fun. I didn't even notice it was this late," she laughs and my smile changes. I'm happy she's had a good time with me. "Now? But-" she complains and I don't need to listen to the other end of the line to understand what he's saying. He wants her there now. "Okay, but we haven't finished here, Hyung-nim. I want to stay a bit longer with Shinwoo-oppa and then we'll go back home, _arasso_?" I turn around with my eyes widen in surprise. Did she really say that? "But I don't wanna leave yet, Hyung-nim," she pouts. "I'm really having fun here. I just want to stay a little bit longer." I can't believe what I'm hearing. She wants to stay here with me longer, she doesn't want to go to Taekyung yet. She's not ditching me for him this time. What... What's happening? "Fine then!" she then hangs up and she doesn't look pleased.

"What happened?" I ask still dumbfounded.

"He told me I didn't have to go back, that I could stay here forever if I wanted," she tells me and I sigh. I'm not surprised he said something that harsh.

"Let's go then? So you can make up," I suggest ready to leave but she shakes her head.

"No. I'm having fun here and I'm not gonna leave you just because he called now, right? That's not nice," she says and my surprise only increases. "I did that to you too many times and it was unfair. I'm sorry," she says and I don't even know what to say. "Let's keep having fun, I'll deal with Hyung-nim later."

I can only blink, awestruck with her words. This is not the same girl that I met. She would've never noticed the things she did to others when running towards Taekyung. She never meant harm, but she was never aware she was hurting others. Now she knows, now she's aware and I know that's because she's experienced the world. She's seen what's out there. She's changed. She's bloomed and I think she's even a more beautiful rose.

"Let's go," she calls and it's her now grabbing my wrist and dragging me around. My smile grows with every step and my heart beats stronger than ever. I, however, try to fight the hope rising in my soul because even if she's changed it doesn't mean I have a chance now, but I can't defeat that part of me. It still grows inside, a new-born hope that things might work out for me this time but I shouldn't think like this. She's with my band mate. I shouldn't want her.

But I do, I cannot lie.

She spins around and gives me one of those beautiful smiles that make my heart skip a beat. I didn't think I could love her more, but I was wrong.

I was so wrong.


	6. Jealousy

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

* * *

><p><strong>Jealousy<strong>

**.**

Eating noodles is such an insignificant thing, it's so mundane and simple that it shouldn't even be acknowledged. But here I am, eating noodles in her company and not even the fanciest restaurant I could've booked could compare. Nothing could be more delicious than this. No moment could feel sweeter because for the first time since I met her, she didn't run to him, she stayed with me. Even if it was for something so small, she picked _me_.

I feel like all the pieces of my heart have been picked up and handed to me. I feel like she's done that and now it's up to me to put them together. I don't even care if she was the one who shattered my heart over and over again, she smiled at me and picked up the pieces for me.

I don't regret all the things I've done for her, all the times I tried to make it work... I just wish the outcome had been different. But if all this had to happen for this moment to come, then I'm okay with that.

Maybe, if she picked me, I would be too happy and that's not allowed. Maybe being that happy isn't plausible and that's why she picked him and not me. That's why she loves him and not me. Because the happiness I feel right now it's all what I can feel, which is not just a little.

"I met people from everywhere, Oppa! And everyone acted so differently. No one really knew how to act at first and it was really awkward, but I did my best to learn and help," she tells me about her experience in Ghana. "I've learnt a bit of other languages, too. Even if we had translators, the kids taught me words and I taught them, too."

"That surely must've felt great," I support and she nods energetically.

"I loved every moment I spent there! I've always loved kids but this still felt different," she explains and I don't doubt it. I bet that the sight of her and kids was the most beautiful thing around. I would've loved going with her, helping alongside Minyu and learning as much as she did. I would've loved to see the same things that marvelled her.

"I would've liked to go, too," I blurt out before I realise I've said that out loud.

"You should totally go one day, Oppa! I know I want to go again or to another place. There are so many places where I could go and give a hand," she dreams and the sparkle in her eyes warms my heart better than any cup of tea.

"Maybe one day we can go together," I dare to say and she smiles brightly.

"That would be even better, Oppa!" she chirps and I prepare myself to hear her include everyone else in this plan. But she doesn't, she just keeps smiling. "You're better with English and that makes things easier. I have to learn more. French as well, there are plenty French colonies in Africa so that language is useful."

"I don't know French. Maybe we can learn together," I dare to say one more time. Maybe I'm testing the waters or maybe I'm digging my own grave. I don't know.

"Wonderful!" she exclaims, honestly happy. "I bet it would make it easier if the two of us work together."

_The two of us._

That shouldn't make my heart race like it does, but I can't help it. It sounds too sweet to ignore and I'm not that strong. Making plans with her is tearing down all my walls.

"We would teach the kids about Korea and play with them. I'm sure they would love you, Oppa," she adds and I just smile.

_I still wish you loved me_, I think with a sigh.

"I guess we have to start preparing, then. And what else are you gonna do here, Minyu-yah?" I ask because she won't be in the band anymore. Now that Go Minam is here she has her life back to do whatever she wants.

"I was thinking to keep helping at the orphanage. I talked to Reverend Mother and she agreed," she provides and I nod.

"You'd make a fine teacher, Minyu-yah."

"Thank you, Oppa. Would you like to come to the orphanage one day? When you're not too busy, of course. The kids are always happy to have someone else to play with. Besides, I'm a bit nervous to go back now. It's been a long time since I saw them last."

"I'm sure they missed you as much as you did," I comfort her and she smiles at me but she still looks a bit hesitant.

I dare a bold move and I reach out to take her hand over the table. I give her a quick squeeze that I hope can offer her the comfort I'm trying to transmit. I don't like seeing her feeling so unsure. Even if there's nothing in my power I can do I still want to try and assure her, no matter what it's about.

"When you go back, let me know. I'll go with you," I offer and she smiles grateful.

"Thank you, Oppa. I was thinking of going tomorrow," she supplies and I make a quick mental scan of my activities for tomorrow. I have to be at the studio for a creative meeting, but surely I can be late without getting in major problems.

"I'll be there with you," I promise and her smile widens and becomes even more beautiful.

We stay for a while longer there, eating without a worry in the world before she decides it's time to go back. It's no surprise that I don't want to go back and see her with Taekyung, but what else can I do? I can't kidnap her or anything like that. Today's been more than I could've ever dreamt of. We spent the day together, we made plans and she picked _me_. I can't be _that_ greedy.

So I drive back home and even if I try to take longer than usual, we arrive eventually and she practically runs inside.

"Hyung-nim!" she calls and I try to ignore the pang in my chest. "I'm back!"

But there's no reply and as I make my slow way inside the house I can see Minyu looking for him anxiously. I go to the kitchen to prepare a cup of tea and go to the rooftop before going to bed. I'm still in the middle of pouring my cup when she walks inside the kitchen.

"I can't find him," she pouts and I'm about to suggest that maybe he's in his room, because I hate seeing her sad, when someone else joins us in the kitchen.

"Go Minyu, you're back," he announces in that pompous tone and I try to ignore them, I try not to see the bright smile on her face but fail.

"Did you have a good day? We had loads of fun," she says and I nod with my eyes still glued on my cup.

"I was super busy and worked really hard and now I'm tired. I just came for water," he announces walking past her and past me to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. "Good night."

"But Hyung-nim," she protests but he ignores her completely.

"I'm tired. You have fun with Kang Shinwoo," he spats and disappears, leaving Minyu and I alone in the kitchen.

_"_Mianhae_,"_ I say when I see her gloomy expression.

"I'm tired, too, but still wanted to spend some time with him. I just didn't want to sit here and wait for him the whole day. That's not bad, right?"

"Of course no!" I hurry to say because she shouldn't feel bad about what she did today. She doesn't live in Taekyung's shadow. "You have your own life and do what you want with that."

"Then why is he so angry?" she asks me and even if I know the answer I don't want to say it because I'm scared of what she might do. If she learns that Taekyung is angry because she spent her day with _me,_ then I'm scared she might put distance between us in order not to hurt Taekyung.

"It's my fault," I end up saying because I'm incapable of doing anything that could add up to her worries. "He's angry because you went out with me today."

"But you're my friend, why would he be angry about that? That doesn't make sense. I can have fun with my friends, that's not a bad thing," she says and I can tell now she's getting angry. "Aish!" she stomps and folds her arms.

"He'll be back to normal tomorrow," I supply but she still looks angry. "Cup of tea?"

Slowly, she gives me a smile. "Thank you, Oppa. You always help me to feel better."

"We are close, aren't we? I'll always be here for you, Minyu-yah," I promise her.

_Always._


	7. Stars

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

* * *

><p><strong>Stars<strong>

**.**

By the time I make it inside the kitchen Taekyung is nowhere to be found. Jeremy is next to Minyu trying to steal part of her breakfast and Minam is next to Jeremy, laughing at them both. My smile is automatic at the scene and I claim my seat next to Minyu. She turns to face me and her smile is huge, and Jeremy takes that chance to steal her breakfast.

"Oi!" she exclaims but Jeremy stands up and runs away with her food. "Aish, I wasn't even finished with that," she pouts and I don't even realise how my hand reaches out and the next second I'm ruffling her hair.

"Don't worry, I'll share mine with you," I tell her and she smiles grateful at me.

"After breakfast we're going to the studio, right hyung?" Minam asks and I immediately feel Minyu's eyes on me.

"I'll be there later. I made plans with Minyu-yah. You just start without me," I reply and he just shrugs. He's very laidback. I'm sure that if Taekyung were here he would blow a tantrum.

"Oppa, if you have things to do don't worry about me. I can go alone," Minyu hurries to tell me, her hand grabbing my forearm frantically.

"Don't worry," I say placing my hand atop of hers. "I promised I would go with you and I will. Nothing bad will happen if I join them later"

"But Oppa, I don't want to bother you," she insists and I shake my head.

"Aren't we close, Go Minyu?" I ask and she nods. "I'll always make time for you, okay? So don't worry when I say you don't have to." She nods one more time and I ruffle her hair before standing up to prepare something for the both of us.

From the corner of my eye I notice both siblings watching me and each has a very different look. Minyu is smiling kindly at me whilst Minam has a different look in his eyes, a different kind of smile I can't exactly define.

After breakfast we take our separate paths. Jeremy and Minam go to the studio and I take Minyu to the orphanage where she'll start helping. On our way we talk about the different possibilities for her. She tells me she did some research on how to get a teacher degree and as I listen to her I realise how much she's grown. When I met her she was so clueless and fragile that you couldn't help wanting to protect her. I still feel like that, I want to spare her any kind of pain, but now she's more capable and stronger and that makes her even more beautiful.

By the time we finally make it to the orphanage she's shaking. I'm sure there's no reason for her to be this nervous, the kids won't hate her for leaving and surely they didn't forget about her. Who could do that?

"It's going to be all right," I tell her encouragingly and she nods taking a deep breath before we go inside.

There are around twenty kids with a nun playing and they all stop when we walk in. They look at us, study us before a little girl squeals.

"Minyu-unni!" she cries out before running towards Minyu and hugging her. Soon all the other kids finally recognise her and run towards her, demanding attention.

"We've missed you."

"You look so pretty, Unni."

"I like your new hair."

"Are you gonna stay with us now?"

"Who's him?"

There are so many kids talking at the same time that it's hard to keep track, but Minyu kneels and answers them.

"Thank you all, and I've missed you, too. Yes, I'm staying again until another place needs me there. And this is my friend, Kang Shinwoo," she introduces us and I smile at all of them.

"Is he your boyfriend?" a girl asks looking at us both.

"Is he your star?" another asks and Minyu blushes.

"No, he's my friend," she replies and then I understand that her star must be Taekyung. I look around and I see all the stars on the walls and I wonder if she collected them all. I have the feeling that she did.

"Where is the brightest star?" the same girl asks.

"He's busy shining bright" she replies and then looks at me with a big smile. "But the sky is full of stars so we don't have a reason to be sad, do we?"

"We don't!" the kids sing in unison throwing their arms in the air.

Soon the kids drag us both to play with them and the topic about stars is left behind, for which I'm thankful because I don't appreciate having Taekyung's shadow following us. The kids are all so cheerful and they adore Minyu. They all want to play with her and have her attention. They are very nice to me, as well, and I end up understanding why Minyu likes it in here so much. Besides, seeing her playing with the kids is even more heart warming than I thought. Sometimes I find myself mesmerised with the view and I have to have a kid pulling my sleeve to wake up.

At some point we are all sitting in a circle and the kids are bombarding us with questions.

"I've collected more stars while you were away, Unni," a little girl tells Minyu and she smiles brightly. "Look at them, look at them!" she requests running to grab them and then bring them to Minyu. I didn't know she was so into stars. "I'll find my favourite star soon," she promises.

"What's your favourite star, Oppa?" another girl asks me and soon all eyes are on me.

I have to think about it long and hard because I never gave it any thought. I look at Minyu and suddenly the answer is clear to me.

"The Sun," I reply and I hear the kids laughing.

"The Sun is not a star, it's the Sun," a boy says and my eyes are on him now.

"Oh, but didn't you know the Sun is a star? It's not the biggest or the brightest, it's just average in comparison with all the other stars in the sky... but the sun is the closest to us. That's why it looks so big and bright. And it's because the Sun that we have a day and we can see, and it's because the Sun hides at night that we can see the other stars. The Sun is always there, looking after you, warming you up without even asking you something in return. The Sun doesn't even mind if you don't think he is a star, too. The Sun is happy with just being close to you," I say and I'm not sure if I'm talking about the Sun anymore.

I look at Minyu and she's not smiling but her eyes are intense on me. I don't break eye contact and I wonder if she understands what I really said. I might not be her favourite and brightest star, but I'm the closest to her and I'll never leave her.

"The Sun is my favourite star!" some kids cheer and more agree. "The Sun is the best!"

"Did you know that all the stars you see at night are so far away that the wishes you make upon them take too long to get to them? Sometimes our wishes can't even reach them. Sometimes they are gone before we can even make our wish," I tell them even if it's not exactly like that. I can't tell them that what they see at night is the last light emission a star made millions of years before and we only see it now because that's how long the light has taken to get to us.

"I'm gonna make my wishes upon the Sun, then," a boy says and all the kids nod. "He'll listen to my wish."

"And he'll do his best to help," another girl supports.

"Yes, he'll always do his best to help you," I say looking at Minyu. I smile when I see how her lips slowly curl up. She's the Sun to me, the closest star and the one I need the most, the one that lets me see everything and keeps me warm in the cold days of my life. She even blinds me when I look at her for too long, but I still do it, because I love her. I wish she would see me as her sun, too. Not her favourite star, not the brightest at night or the biggest of them all… just the closest to her.


	8. Meeting

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

* * *

><p><strong>Meeting<strong>

**.**

By the time I can't postpone it any longer, I tell Minyu and all the kids that I have to go. I wasn't expecting that all the kids would whine and ask me to come back. I've had a wonderful time and they apparently see me as the wiser figure because they keep asking me about all different topics. I'll have to read more or do some research before coming back to keep up with all their queries. I don't have to do this, but I want to.

"Do you wanna go to the label? I'm sure Manager Ma will be happy to see you again. He's missed you more than anyone," I joke because no one has missed her more than I did.

"I'm gonna stay here a bit longer. I'll see you at home," she says and I know I shouldn't react like this but my heart leaps nonetheless when those words leave her lips. The sweet hope of having a home with her stings in my chest.

"Definitely," I say and spin around to walk away, but before I make it to the door I hear a girl asking, "why isn't Oppa your boyfriend?"

I don't listen to the answer, I'm not strong enough to put myself under that agony again. I know the answer too well, I don't need a reminder of reality. I have enough with myself. No matter how much I wish she questioned the same, it won't happen. She chose Taekyung and I have to accept she'll never love _me._

When I arrive to the studio I don't have time to drown in my own pity party because I have to face two demons, one being the president of the label and the other the leader of our band. Both are furious for my four-hour delay. I didn't plan to stay that long at the orphanage, it just happened.

Jeremy and Minam know where I went, and I wonder if they told Taekyung. If they did, he'll be twice as pissed at me.

"You knew we had this meeting and it was important for our next album. Why are you so late?" Taekyung roars and I don't flinch.

"I had an important commitment and, contrary to you, I'm not a workaholic," I say walking past him to take a seat next to Jeremy inside the recording studio. I grab my guitar, not bothered with Taekyung. Minam is chuckling on his own and I smile at him. It seems he didn't tell our leader about my whereabouts.

"You can't be this irresponsible! This is our career and you can't treat it like this," he insists and I keep strumming the guitar.

"If my commitment weren't more important that this meeting I wouldn't have been this late. I don't take this lightly, but my priorities are not the same as yours," I state as calmly as usual and I notice from the corner of my eye that Minam smiles at me. I'm not sure but he seems to approve of my behaviour.

"Hyung, Shinwoo is here already, why don't we start working instead of fighting?" Jeremy butts in and the president decides that's the best. He's still angry at me but it's worse if we keep fighting instead of working.

And after that we jump into business, sharing ideas and suggestions. The president is giving us even more creative freedom for this album, which is even more exciting. It's normally Taekyung composing the songs, but this time I fight for our voices to be heard as well. Jeremy and I can also write music and Minam also wants to try. We always let Taekyung step over us, but after so many years I'm getting tired. He's not the only star in the band.

We finish the meeting and brainstorming very late. We've skipped all meals and Jeremy is in a close-to-become-a-zombie state. Minam already gave in to his hunger and he'll eat the first edible thing that crosses his path. It's fun to see Jeremy and Minam always together and getting along so well. They are both joyful and energetic, but Minam can also be sweet and mature, even innocent at times, and when he acts like that is when he reminds me the most of his sister.

At first I thought they were identical, but over time I've learnt how different they are, not only in personalities. Minam's shoulders are broader whereas Minyu's frame is frail. He's a bit taller and rougher. If we had met him first we would've never thought that Minyu could possibly be Minam.

The first thing I notice when we get home is the smell of food and then I remember Minyu is now home. Over the last few months we got used to be only men around and all of us too lazy to cook for ourselves. Today there's someone waiting for us.

"Minyu-yah!" Jeremy shouts jumping in to hug Minyu with her brother closely behind. "We are so hungry. Thank you, thank you for this," he almost cries and I laugh.

Taekyung walks in, still grumpy but he smiles when he sees Minyu trapped by Jeremy and Minam.

"Go Minyu, did you have a good day?" he asks and she smiles brightly. Her eyes dart quickly to me and her smile brightens up.

"It was great. I went to the orphanage to start helping there again," she tells him. "How was the meeting?"

"Hyung is a tyrant, Minyu-yah," Jeremy complains. "He didn't want us to write songs for this album, either, but Shinwoo-hyung fought for us! I'll write you a song for this album, Minyu-yah," he promises with the most innocent smile. I can tell now that he doesn't mean a love song as he could've done before. As he did before. He's left those feelings behind, contrary to what I've done.

"I can't wait to hear it," she replies and I wonder what she would say if she knew that I've already written many more songs about her, and these are indeed love songs.

"If you want to write songs, let go of her and eat," Taekyung demands pulling Jeremy and Minam away from Minyu. Both boys pout and I chuckle.

"Anyhow, I made dinner. I hope you didn't eat out," she says and the response she receives is Jeremy and Minam already seated and waiting eagerly. I join them while Taekyung rolls his eyes.

"We're starving," I say for everyone and she smiles kindly at me.

"I gotta say, my cooking skills improved a lot during my time in Ghana," she says and I don't doubt it.

Soon we are all eating and enjoying her food, which indeed is better, and trying to learn the names of the things we are eating. I soon give up and decide to just enjoy it. She sits next to Taekyung yet her attention is on everyone. It used to happen that when he was around she could only see him, but tonight she pays attention to everyone, not just her hyung-nim.

Noticing that puts me in a far better mood. It's good to see that he doesn't blind her anymore. But at the same time it's a dangerous sight because it ignites the sparkles of hope inside of me. Before, Taekyung was all what she could see but maybe, just maybe, this time she can see me.

Of course, dreams are far from reality and I can't live out of hopes and fantasies that will never happen. That's only painful and I've had enough heartache. I just wish my own hopeful heart could learn the lesson.


	9. Comforting

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

* * *

><p><strong>Comforting<strong>

**.**

Weeks have passed and things haven't changed much. We are all busy working on the new album material, especially Taekyung, and of course he doesn't know how to make time for Minyu. She spends most of her day at the orphanage and at night she studies. She decided to take the exam to get a primary teacher degree, something that could help her to make some income.

Taekyung is so immersed in his work that he hasn't even noticed that, and the few chances they have to spend together, he's cold as ice to her. Not that it's weird for him to be like that, but it would be nice if he could show her that she matters to him. Even I know she matters to him, but he still treats her as if she should know. And if he's not treating her coldly or assuming she has to live following him as a fan, they are bickering. I know that's mostly my fault because I do make time to spend with her, like he should do.

During breaks, I run to see her at the orphanage and to play with the kids who have accepted me completely. At night I try to help her study as I keep working on a song or something. During our days off I make sure to make plans that include Taekyung but he always ditches us for work. I feel like punching him every time he does because I can see the hurt in her expression.

Doesn't he know how to treat a girl? Moreover, doesn't he know how to treat _his_ girlfriend?

If I can make time in our busy schedule to be with her, as a friend, how is that he can't do the same? We live under the same roof and he still treats her like that. It's like he takes her for granted. He expects that she'll always be there, waiting. I thought he understood when I told him he had to hold on to her, but once he reached her he forgot to keep doing it. That's not how it works.

I hate him right now because he's hurting her and I don't care that he's doing it unconsciously I still hate him. He should know how lucky he is. Jeremy and I were left heartbroken for him, we helped him to reach Minyu and now he's doing this? Do we all matter that little to him?

I feel like running to his room and punch him in the nose when I find Minyu outside, sitting on her own around the tree, clearly feeling down. I know it's his fault that she's like this.

"Hi there," I say sitting next to her and demanding her attention.

"Oppa, I didn't hear you coming," she says with an honest smile, but she still looks sad.

"I'm silent as a ninja," I say and she chuckles. "Why are you here all alone? Jeremy and Minam are playing karaoke inside. Don't you wanna join them? I'll do if you say yes," I offer and she chuckles but shakes her head.

"I'm not in the mood for karaoke," she says and I lose my smile as well.

"Do you want me to tell you a story instead?" I propose and her head tilts to her right. Soon her smile is the answer I was hoping for. "There was a boy once who liked a girl very much. He was young and didn't know how to get his feelings across. He once saw the girl he liked by the river, crying on her own. He didn't know what to do to cheer her up, he just knew he couldn't see her crying. Do you wanna know what he did?" I ask and she nods enthusiastically. "He started singing and dancing to get her attention, and then, purposely, he fell into the river. The girl got worried and helped him and once he was out, she started laughing. She cried and laughed at the same time and he offered her his shoulder. The girl cried harder, but she wasn't alone anymore."

"He didn't leave her alone," she says and I nod. "He's really a nice person."

"Why thank you," I say and she takes five seconds to realise I've told her another of my stories. My secrets just slip out of my tongue when I'm with her. "It wasn't my brightest move, but I helped her."

"You're always helping me, too, Oppa. Thank you," she says and I ruffle her hair.

"Of course, aren't we close?" I ask as usual and she smiles wide.

"The closest," she says for the first time and my eyes widen before my heart races in my chest.

"And… and because we are the closest, won't you tell me what's making you feel down?" I question and she loses her smile.

"Hyung-nim." That's no surprise. "I feel like we haven't got a little bit closer since I came back. I had many expectations, you know? But I only feel like we've drifted apart. I feel like I'm only a nuisance for him. I try to give him space and mind my own business because I don't wanna be a troublemaker again, but he only gets mad at me for spending time with my friends. I constantly question if I'm doing something wrong, but everyone tells me I'm not, that I don't even have to ask permission to spend time with friends. When I was in Ghana I made a friend and told her how much I missed Hyung-nim. She asked me about our story and when I told her how I asked permission to love him she said that it didn't work like that, because one doesn't ask permission to love, one just loves. Even if the other person doesn't love you back, you just love. She said that instead of granting me permission Hyung-nim should've told me that."

She speaks fast and holding her breath and that tells me she's been keeping this for too long. I don't know who that friend is, but I totally agree with her. I knew he had given her permission to love her, I never heard the full story, but I knew and thought it was to egotistical of him to say that, but once again, I wasn't surprised.

"She's right, though. What if he had told you that you couldn't love him, what would've you done?" I inquire even if it hurts to say those words.

"I would've still loved him," she replies and I sigh.

"Because that's how it works. No one controls our hearts, not even ourselves." She looks down and I don't like her sad expression, so even knowing that what I'll say will break my own heart, I still carry on. "I'm sure he loves you, Minyu-yah, he's just terrible at showing it. He can write amazing songs, but not even for dear life he can say what he really feels. And if he keeps being a jerk, then I'll be here for you to cheer you up. Hopefully, I won't need to fall into the river but in desperate situations..." I leave the sentence hanging and she laughs, she honestly laughs.

And on the next minute she's hugging me, tightly and warmly, totally taking me by surprise. "Thank you, Oppa. You're the best," she says and my arms slowly wrap around her, pulling her even closer.

_Just this moment. Let me have this moment,_ I pray but as I told the kids, the stars are too far away for our wishes to reach them.

"So this is where you were," a voice startles us and I close my eyes with a heavy sigh.

If the sun had been up, maybe my wish would've reached it.


	10. Couple Quarrel

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

* * *

><p><strong>Couple Quarrel<strong>

**.**

I try to leave because I don't want to take part in a couple quarrel, but I'm not granted with that.

"Oh no, you're going nowhere, Kang Shinwoo. You're as part of this as she is," he says and next thing, I feel her grabbing my wrist, a scared and anxious move. She's seeking comfort so I stay by her side, just because of her.

"You always are with her. I look away five minutes and you're running to her, and of course she is waiting for you," he accuses and I clench my fists.

"Because you never have time for her. You always put her second, third or even fourth!" I fight back and I feel her grip tightening. "You should be the one running towards her."

"And because I'm not, you can't miss the opportunity, right? You're so sly," he spats and I'm about to say something back when Minyu tugs my arm to stop me.

"He or I have done nothing wrong, Hyung-nim. You never want to spend time with me when I ask you because you're always working and I don't want to cause you any more trouble. I know how much you hate that. I also spend time with Jeremy and Oppa because they want to and because we are friends. That's not something bad," she defends herself never letting go of my wrist. "But you push us all away."

"You should push back. Don't you see I want you to do that?" he snaps with that deep frown of his. I roll my eyes. Why does he have to do things in the more inconvenient way?

"Then you should be more clear about it! I can't guess what you want me to do. I'm not good at that," I nod in agreement. "If you want me to chase you then you should tell me. I can't always know what you want me to do, Taekyung-ssi," she says and not only my eyes widen in surprise, his also show his shock by the way she's addressed him. "And even if you want me to chase you and only you, I can't do that because I have my life, too. I'm not part of the band anymore, I don't need you to keep my secret. I can have friends and spend time with them without you getting mad because of it."

She's grown so much and I couldn't be more proud for what she's doing right now.

"Go Minyu-ssi," he speaks in that patronising tone that gets on my nerves. "I'm your brightest star, you said it. Why are you turning away from me now?"

"The sky is full of stars!" she shoots back letting go of my wrist to stand up. "Some are bigger, some are brighter and some are closer. It's all a matter of perspective."

"W-what are you trying to say?" he asks, his voice sounds small for the first time. I'm asking the same question in my mind.

"That not because you are my star it means I can't appreciate the others. Even if you outshine them, they are still there. And during the day you're not that bright!"

He doesn't say anything and I'm holding my breath. I didn't know Minyu had that in her but it makes me happy, it makes me so happy that she can stand for herself now, that she can get angry and fight back. She's shining brighter than ever.

Taekyung spins around and storms out, leaving us alone. Minyu drops next to me, completely deflated after their argument. I don't know exactly what to do, if to give her a hug, pat her shoulder or ruffle her hair. What am I supposed to do now?

"Oppa," she calls.

"Yes?" I say hurriedly, desperate to help in any way I can.

"Can we go to the amusement park tomorrow?" asks Minyu and I blink in surprise. I certainly wasn't expecting that and it takes me a few seconds to process the information.

"O-of course! I'll ask Jeremy and Minam immediately. We have a day off tomorrow so it shouldn't be a problem. And we'll ask Taekyung tomorrow if that's what you want," I offer even if going with him is the last thing I want. For her I can do anything.

Minyu nods and sighs heavily. I just stay by her side, in silence, until she speaks again to tell me we should go inside. I feel bad because I couldn't offer a single word of comfort when she needed it. I feel guilty about it, because if I hadn't been there, they wouldn't have fought. Nevertheless, eventually they would've had that fight either way so I try to tell myself it's not _my_ fault, I'm just a factor.

I walk her to her room and before she leaves I hurry to say, "for the record, I think you did the right thing, Minyu-yah. I'm on your side."

She smiles gratefully. "Thank you, Oppa. Good night, I'll see you tomorrow."

I nod and then she opens the door and disappears inside. After that, I go to tell Jeremy and Minam about our plans for tomorrow and they agree without a second thought. I wonder if Taekyung will join us tomorrow. A part of me doesn't want him to because I want to have fun, but I know she needs to settle things with him.

The next morning I'm the first to wake up and make sure to prepare breakfast for everyone. Minyu is the second and she smiles happily when she sees what I'm doing. "How are you feeling?" I ask and her smile quivers a bit.

"Better after a night of sleep. I'll be even better after today. I'm really excited!" she beams and right on cue two other figures joins us.

"Amusement park, yeah!" they sing together making Minyu and I laugh.

We have breakfast together, talking about all the rides we want to go in and how long has it been since we last went to a one. In all that time, Taekyung doesn't join us. When we are about to depart she goes upstairs to invite him. We just hear the screams.

"Why would I join you? Go with your _friends_," he spats the words and we three look at each other awkwardly.

"Why do you have to act like this?! We just wanna have fun together, you included."

"Well, don't include me next time. I'm not interested. I have work to do."

"Fine!"

"Fine!" he shouts back and next we hear her stomping down.

"Let's go," she tells us and we all feel a bit awkward, but none dares to say something about it.

She doesn't wait for a reply, she just leaves us behind and head to the car. I'm the first to react and follow her. I don't know how to feel about this, but I know that I have to do something to cheer her up. That's my goal for today.


	11. Amusement Park

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

* * *

><p><strong>Amusement Park<strong>

**.**

The ride to the amusement park is rather awkward. None of us dares to say anything and Minyu is still fuming. I guess she can't be patient forever when it comes to Taekyung and if he doesn't want to lose her then he needs to learn to communicate.

Not because I love her and I still have a little hope that she might love me back I will rejoice in this situation. It's hurting her and no matter what it is or how it might benefit me, I don't like anything that makes her sad. If she needs to be with Taekyung to be happy, then I'll support them. That's why I helped him before she left to Africa. That's why I told him that, because I knew it would make Minyu happy. I did it for her, not for him.

We arrive to the park and Jeremy and Minam seem to snap out of the awkward zone because they zoom out the car and inside the park. I chuckle with Minyu still by my side.

"I want to have fun today, I don't want to think of negative things. Will you help me, Oppa?" she pleads and I grab her hand for a few seconds.

"Of course," is all I say before I let go and we leave the car, too, to follow our friends.

Once she is inside the park her expression changes, she smiles brightly and I can see her excitement showing. I have no idea where the other two left, but I'm sure we'll run into them.

"Where do you wanna go first?" I ask and she thinks about it.

"Roller coaster!" she exclaims and I nod. "Then the Viking for you, okay?"

"It's a deal."

And off we go, rushing to the roller coaster queue. It's just a few minutes until we are seated in the last seats. I don't know if this is a good or bad idea. Minyu is giggling with excitement and I shrug. I guess it doesn't matter, as long as we get to ride it together. Then it starts working and her hands shoots to grab mine, squeezing tight. She's also nervous.

We climb, climb, climb and her hands grabs tighter, tighter and tighter.

We reach the top and then we're falling and we scream at the top of our lungs. We scream louder than ever and we both hold onto each other for dear life. A turn, a loop and then another and we still scream. It seems never-ending and we cry for it to stop. When it does we burst out laughing in relief. It was only a few minutes but it felt like a lifetime.

"That was crazy! My hand is numb," she says as we leave the ride.

"Mianhae," I say and she shakes her hand.

"It was for squeezing too hard. I had never rode one. Let's go to the Viking now!"

And we are running again for a new queue and a new ride. This is my favourite and the first time I invited her to the amusement park, I imagined us together riding this. I wonder if it'll live up to the expectations.

We are seated and ready to go and she's closely pressed by my side. I really don't mind and I try to soothe her before the ride finally kicks off.

"It'll be better than the roller coaster," I promise and she nods.

And I'm not lying, it's not as intense and she laughs more than screaming. She still holds on to me and by when we are done, I don't let go of her hands. Why would I? She's going to hold it for the next ride. At least that's the excuse I give myself.

We decide to go to the haunted house and on the queue we find Jeremy and Minam. Only then I let go of her hand because I don't want to cause more trouble. Minam notices that I was holding his sister hand, but he only smirks.

So we go together, they in the first car and we closely behind. As soon as we start moving, Minyu holds onto my arm and hides her face in my shoulder. I tell her that things will be fine, but then screams are heard, things jump at us and she's screaming bloody murder. Even I get scared a few times, not because the things are scary, but because they are sudden and startle me. By the time we exit the house, we are hugging and Jeremy and Minam are no different, which makes us all burst out laughing.

After that we go get something to eat and it's more and more rides. We go together, we get separated sometimes, but no matter what, we are always laughing. Minyu doesn't lose the smile at any moment and that's the icing of the cake. I knew I would have fun with her, but I didn't think it would be this great.

I'm so happy we came.

It's getting dark and we have time for one last ride it only seems fitting that we ride the Ferris wheel. Jeremy and Minam get in one capsule and we laugh that it seems they are in a date. Minam goes along and pretends to be a girl while Jeremy seems very uncomfortable. I guess he would be because he fell for Minyu when he thought she was a boy. I bet he's still a bit conflicted about it. If he realises he is gay I wouldn't mind.

It's our turn to get inside the capsule and off we go. I sit while Minyu places her hands on the glass, mesmerised with the view. I think she's far more beautiful. Now it's the only time she's not smiling, but she doesn't look sad.

"Penny for your thoughts," I say and she doesn't look back, she's still looking at the horizon.

"When I was in Ghana the kids asked me if I had a boyfriend. By then, I wasn't even sure if Hyung-nim and I were actually a couple, you know? So I didn't say yes or no and they took my blushing as a reply. Do you wanna know what they did?"

"What?" I ask, honestly curious.

"They started guessing. 'I bet he's the nicest, just like Minyu!' 'He must be warm and caring,' 'I bet he always comforts and protects her,' 'I bet he always tells her how important she is,' 'and when Minyu is feeling down, he's always cheering her up,' 'he knows her better than anyone because they are super close.'" She laughs and I only blink. "I remember so clearly all what they said because I couldn't see Taekyung's face when they described the kind of person that should be my boyfriend. He's a good person, but he's not warm and we're definitely not close," she laughs humourlessly. "You wanna know whose face I saw? Of whom I thought?" I don't dare to ask, hope is burning in my throat and that scares me to death. She turns around and looks at me with a sad smile. "You."

I can't breathe. I can only blink as I feel my heart racing.

"They were describing you and now that I'm back their words seem to haunt me because Taekyung doesn't even treat me like a girlfriend... but you do."

She looks so sad while saying that and I don't know what to do, how to deal with this situation.

"If I were your boyfriend," I say reaching out for her hand. She takes it. "I would always hold your hand and I would feel the luckiest man alive. I would take you to all the places you haven't seen. I would do everything in my power to make you smile every day. I would sit by your side and wrap my arm around you," I carry on, pulling her next to me and doing exactly what I describe. "And I would kiss the top of your head," and I do. "And tell you how much you mean to me because I wouldn't accept that you question my feelings for you, not even for a second. I would make you feel loved every day, because that's what a boyfriend ought to do."

I look at her and her eyes are all teary, but I don't know why. I hug her tighter

"You thought of all those things, right? You really loved me," she murmurs and I kiss he top of her head.

_I still love you,_ I say in my head. But I can't tell her that.

"I'm sorry for not loving you back."

"It's okay. It's in the past now," I say and for some reason she looks even sadder now. I cup her face and offer her my best smile, doing my best to comfort her. "Things will be better, Minyu-yah. Trust me."

Maybe it's the mood, maybe it's because all the things I've said and done that I dare make another bold move. I lean in and kiss her forehead and she freezes And then he hand shoots to her face and she's pressing her nose like doing an impression of a pig.

"What are you doing?" I ask, confused by her sudden behaviour.

"I-I um...this is-"

But right in that moment the capsule stops and it's time for us to get down. Minyu almost runs out, which confused me, but I let it go. She's cute and does weird things sometimes. I'll ask her next time.


	12. Space

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

* * *

><p><strong>Space<strong>

**.**

It's been such a good day that I really don't want to go back, because I know he's there. I'm worried about her because she's been so happy but the closer we get home, the more worried she looks. I purposely push back all the things we talked during our ride in the Ferris wheel. I don't want the hopes to rise inside of me just to be crushed again. They might make up now and nothing of what we talked will matter.

I park with a heavy sigh and when I look at the back seat, I see Minam and Jeremy sleeping leaning on each other's shoulder. I chuckle and then. Minyu is also watching them with a smile on her lips.

"Go ahead, I'll take care of them," I say and she seems reluctant.

"I'll help you," she refuses and then gets out to open the door of Minam's side.

She wakes him up but he's still groggy so she helps him inside and I do the same for Jeremy. They had too much fun and too much sugar, I guess. We don't run into Taekyung when we walk inside and guide each of the sleepy boys to their rooms. Not even when we drop Minam, whose room is so close to Taekyung's, we encounter him.

"Do you want tea?" I ask when we close Minam's door.

She nods and we head to the kitchen. Without a word, I pour tea for both of us. I don't need to ask, I know she's nervous and anxious, so I want to help her relax a bit before she goes to him, because she will. She's distracted herself enough, I think.

"Are you gonna go now?" I ask when I notice none of us has tea left. She only nods. "If anything happens, I'll be on the rooftop. And if I'm not there, then I'll be in my room. Don't hesitate to knock at my door," I remind her and she nods with a warm smile.

"Thank you, Oppa," she says and I only smile.

Then she's back on her feet and after a heavy sigh, she goes upstairs. I stay there for a bit longer, wishing her good luck but a part of me also hopes they won't make up. I guess I haven't given up, or maybe after today, after our day together, all my hopes have been exhumed.

I wash the cups and then go upstairs with a new one for me. I don't think I can fall asleep even if I'm tired. My thoughts are too hectic and I still feel my skin tingling with all the emotions of today. It's only when I'm looking at the starry night that I allow myself relive the conversation in the Ferris wheel, her expression, her eyes, her words. Does she realise that I could love her better than Taekyung? Does she know that I fit her better than him? Is she aware that I would do anything for her if she only looked in my direction, if she looked at me?

What did Taekyung do that I didn't? Why did she fall for him when I was always by her side? Why?

I close my eyes and I remember that one day when I told her about our love story. Of what should've happened if he hadn't always butted in. I remember how I told her how things happened time after time and she didn't even realise it was a real story. And then, the most painful part was when I told her about my plans of confessing to her. She said it back, she said she loved me back but she was only going with the flow, she was telling a story and that broke my heart to a whole new extent. Those were the words I wanted to hear, the words I craved but they were as fake as our relationship. It was a taste of what I wanted and it was so sweet but so bitter at the same time. I couldn't put up with that.

And she broke my heart, time after time.

Why am I still here, hoping? Wanting for things to be different? Haven't I learnt my lesson? What's wrong with me?

I don't know for how long I stay there, in the dark, in the cold, alone with my thoughts. It could've been minutes, it could've been days, but I still felt as hopeless as when I came here. I decide it's time to go to bed when I hear fast steps coming in my direction and before I turn around to see who's coming, I hear sobs. I turn around just in time to see Minyu running towards me, her face stained with tears and her arms reach out. I don't think, I just act out of instinct and I step forward to receive her in my arms. I don't know what happened, but I hate seeing her cry. I feel like my own heart is breaking and I just want to comfort her, to wipe the tears away and bring back that beautiful smile of hers.

I don't say anything nor does she, we only hug each other and I let her cry until she's limp in my arms. I pull back and cup her cheeks to see her face, and with my thumbs I wipe the tears away. Her eyes are swollen and bloodshot and it's breaking my heart to see her like this. I don't need to ask, it's clear things went bad.

"If you wanna talk, I'll listen," I offer and she lets out another sob.

"It's over and that's not even the worst part, I don't even feel like it ever began," she cries out hugging me again. She breaking down and I hate seeing her like this. I should go and beat that jerk up so he can see what he's doing. "I thought... I thought that love was enough but it isn't... It isn't," she sobs again and I hug her tighter.

"I'm so sorry, Minyu-yah. I wish you didn't have to learn this in this way," I whisper and she holds on to me even tighter. "But if relationships were easy, then no one would be heartbroken," I muse and she sobs again. I didn't think she had more tears in her. "But as heartbreak is real, so it's moving on. Maybe tomorrow, in a new light, he'll see he made a mistake and ask you to take him back."

She shakes her head and it hurts me that she can't even be positive this time.

"It's over... You don't know what he said, the horrible things he implied. He accused everyone! He treated everyone so badly. My oppa and my friends," she cries and I'm not surprised. He's never realised whom he hits with his words. "He said... He said that I could go and be a fan of yours now because he didn't want me in his fan club," she carries on and I'm not sure the analogy behind that, but I think it doesn't really mean fan. "I-I told him that I wouldn't be your fan, I couldn't be your fan, because I'm your friend and he got even angrier and shouted he didn't want to see me again. He shouted!" and she's full sobbing again.

I can't believe that idiot. Doesn't he realise Minyu doesn't have any ill intention? I would understand if he slays me. I would understand if he beats me up because I'm spending time with his girlfriend, but he shouldn't treat her like this. She doesn't deserve it. She doesn't even think of me as something else but her friend, for crying out loud. How can one man be so dense?

"I'm sorry, Minyu. I'm so sorry. I know it hurts right now, but you'll be fine," _eventually,_ I add in my mind, hating that she even has to hurt for a minute.

She shakes her head against my chest and I gulp. Does she really think she won't recover from this?

"I'm leaving," she hiccups and I paralyse. No, she doesn't mean she's leaving for real, right? She just came back six weeks ago. No. "I can't live here anymore. I'll hurt too much and it's not fair," she carries on and with paranoia running through my veins I push her back to make her look me in the eyes.

"What do you mean? What about the orphanage? And your exams?" I ask, full panic.

"I mean moving out," she clarifies and I feel my knees weakening. Oh God, I thought she meant leaving the country again. I thought I was really going to lose her. "I can't live under the same roof, Oppa. I'll find my own place, I'll be independent. I'll go back to the convent until I find a place, but I can't stay here any longer."

"But this is your home. Your brother is here, we are here. It's not only Taekyung," I remind her and she shakes her head. I don't want her to leave.

"It's too painful, Oppa. I don't want to run into him to hear his false accusations again. It's the best and I've been thinking about it for a while already. This was just the last straw, I guess," she continues wiping her own tears and taking strength from this decision. "I won't go too far and we'll still meet. I'll keep studying and working, I just won't depend on you all anymore. It's the best, Oppa."

"But... But," I try to argue and fail. I don't know what to tell her to stop her because I know she's right. If she wants to move on she needs space and time, even if they get back together later, she still needs space to heal from this blow and she'll do it better away. But I don't want her away. I love coming home and knowing she'll be around. I love knowing I can offer her a cup of tea every morning and every night. That I can be here for her if she needs me.

"Are you sure this is the best?" I ask, my hands tight on her shoulders.

She nods. "I'm sure."

I sigh heavily and close my eyes for a few seconds.

"Then I'll help you," I promise.


	13. Fool

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

* * *

><p><strong>Fool<strong>

**.**

I take her to her room, although carry would be more accurate to describe what I do. I've never seen Minyu like this and it's the most heart-breaking thing I've seen and experienced. Not even when she rejected me I felt this pain inside. I can't bear seeing her like this, so I do what I can to help her.

Once in her room I help her pack all her belongings. She'll leave tomorrow first thing in the morning. I wish she would stay a bit longer, at least until she finds a place, but I also understands why she wants to leave as soon as possible.

I keep packing even when I urge her to take a shower to relax and by the time she's back I'm all done. She looks half-dead and I don't know what else to do. I don't want to leave her when she's feeling like this, but it's not my place to stay with her.

"Oppa," she calls as she crawls inside her bed. "Will you stay a bit longer? I know you're tired and I'm being selfish but I-"

"I'll stay," I cut her off. "I'll tell you a bedtime story or even sing you a lullaby if that's what you need. We are close, aren't we?"

She smiles weakly and I walk towards her bed and sit by her side. She snuggles next to me, like a lost puppy and I sigh. I pat her head, my fingers running through her silky hair and my heart feels so heavy.

I start singing a song, the first song that comes to my mind, which is the first song I wrote for her. _A Song for Fools_. She cries quietly, but I still feel her and the pain I feel in my own chest is reflected in my voice. And after that song I sing another, and another. All songs I've written for her even if she doesn't know.

I know she doesn't want my love, she doesn't even need it, but I still wish it can soothe her and offer her the comfort she needs right now.

At some point in the night she falls asleep and so do I. I just wake up the next morning with her by my side. She's still sleeping but her cheeks are still wet. I pray that this is the only time I see her like this.

I shake her softly because it's time to get up and she groans. I insist until she wakes up and looks at me with confused eyes. I guess she doesn't remember what happened last night, but then the memory hits her and her eyes are sorrowful again. I sigh.

"It's time to get up. I'll make breakfast, okay?" I offer and she nods.

I ruffle her hair in the way I always do, hoping that would cheer her up even a little bit. She smiles weakly, but it's a smile nonetheless. So I leave her room and head to the kitchen to prepare something for eat, but before I stop in my room to clean up and change my clothes. I'm too worried about Minyu as to care about my own aspect.

I'm barely finishing when she's back and soon after her the other members of the band walk in, all except Taekyung, thankfully.

"Why the long faces?" Minam asks and Minyu looks away. "What's wrong?"

"Yeah, what's wrong, Minyu-nuna?" Jeremy asks and I look at Minyu, wondering how to handle this situation.

"I'm moving out," she blurts out and they gape at her. "I think it's time I get my own place so I'm leaving."

"When?" Minam asks concerned while Jeremy pouts and whines. He doesn't want his nuna to leave.

"Today," she says and even Jeremy stops.

"Why? Do you already have a place? Why didn't you tell me before? Why the rush?" Minam attacks with question after question and I know she can't answer them right now. I grab Minam's shoulder, begging him to understand.

It's then when I see him being a brother and really knowing his sister because he looks at her, he really does and he knows what's wrong. He knows it right then. I see it in the way he tenses, in the way his fists clench and his eyes fills with rage.

"If it's your decision, then I support you," he says and Jeremy gasps, betrayed. "We'll help you, won't we?" he then says looking at Jeremy and me. I nod with a smile.

"But...but... Oh fine. But I'll visit you all the time," Jeremy whines and Minyu smiles honestly this time.

"I'm counting on that," is her reply and seeing her like this relieves my heart a wee bit. I know she'll be fine, I just wish she would feel better now.

After breakfast we all leave together to drop Minyu to the convent. Jeremy understands that something went wrong with Taekyung when he doesn't even come out to say goodbye and Minyu doesn't even ask for him. Only then he offers his full support and stops whining, instead he's determined to make her laugh and I'm grateful for that.

I don't want to leave her alone today, but we have to go to the studio and work. I can't stay with her. Still, I promise her that I'll drop by tomorrow morning before work and give her a ride to have breakfast together. She accepts with a sad smile and then we leave. No one speaks in the car, we are too worried about her. When I park at the AN offices, Minam says, "we'll find her a good place as soon as possible. It'll be our present for her. We'll help her out."

"Yes," Jeremy and I agree immediately, no questions about it.

And we don't talk about it anymore and none of us want to even see Taekyung right now. Jeremy is always playful with him, but not even him wants to give him a smile and he acts as if he doesn't mind. He probably doesn't. I only talk to him when it's strictly for business and I'm really thankful when we can head back. I want to go and see Minyu, but it's too late for visits now. I'll see her in the morning.

"Where's Go Minyu," Taekyung asks when we walk inside the house and it's all dark. Her absence hangs heavier than anything else.

"She left," I speak. "After you two broke up last night she said it was too painful. She left this morning and she's not coming back. Congratulations," I say, my voice dark with rage and resentment for what he's caused.

I've lost my appetite and I'm ready to go to my room when he speaks. "Are you happy now? You can finally have her," he says with venom in his words.

I turn around with anger burning inside of me, ready to push him against a wall and just beat the hell out of him. "If you think I could be happy when she's hurting, then you're a bigger jerk than I ever thought!" I shout and his expression darkens even more.

"So you're telling me you're not happy that she's free now? You've loved her this whole time, you don't have to hold back anymore," he accuses me and I look away, too infuriated with him.

"In one thing you're right: I've loved her all this time. I loved her when I found out her secret, which was before you even suspected something was wrong with her. I loved her when you were threatening her. I loved her when you bullied her. I loved her when you started to accept her. I loved her even more when you realised you liked her. I loved her when she realised she loved you. I loved her when she picked you. I loved her when she left. I loved her when she came back and I'll love her tomorrow, too. And it's because I love her that I could never hurt her the way you have hurt her. I could never be happy when she's crying herself to sleep. I would never treat her the way you do, because I love her!" I cry out pushing him with each word. "You don't even know how to love her and you lost her. You don't deserve her. She's too good for you!"

"And you're good for her?" he retorts, pushing back.

"Of course no! But I would do anything to be worthy of her. Would you do that? Just because she loves you, you take her for granted. You're an idiot."

I don't wait for a comeback, I just turn around and leave to my room. Angry and heartbroken because she's left and she won't be coming back and it's all because of him. Because that idiot who was lucky enough to receive her heart, just to break it afterwards.

I didn't think I could hate him, but right now I really do.


	14. Flat

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

* * *

><p><strong>Flat<strong>

**.**

It's been three weeks since Go Minyu left the house and it hasn't been the same. It's even different from when she left to Africa because back then we all knew she would come back. This time we all know she won't, and Taekyung is not even trying to fix things. I know it's all in his hands, but damn his pride.

I go to see her every day, even if it's for five minutes. I'm always worried about how she's doing. She left so heartbroken that I'm scared she's still hurting. I know three weeks is not enough time for her wounds to heal, but maybe it's the beginning.

If I haven't forgotten about her, I wonder if she can do that about Taekyung.

And because I'm so concerned about her, I can't even think about the fact that she is single now. Taekyung isn't part of the equation anymore and it doesn't seem like he'll do something to be back in. This could be my chance. But I can't be that low, I can't take advantage of her misery. She's in pain, I can only comfort her, not make a move.

I wouldn't mind being a replacement for Taekyung, I wouldn't mind if she uses me to forget about him as long as she gives me a chance, but it has to be her decision. I won't do anything while she's hurting.

Aside from that, Jeremy, Minam and I have been looking for a nice place for her. We've found some and although we would like to give her the best, we know she won't accept it and she won't feel comfortable in it. We look for the place she would like, not the one we want for her. It's hard not to cross that line.

We've found some places but it's only today when we are sure this is it. It's a nice flat, not too far from the studio or the orphanage. It's private and modest, it's also comfortable and it has an amazing view. I'm sure she'll like that at night.

We spend the whole day signing papers and other things related to the purchase of the flat. It's almost twilight when we are given the keys and all the papers that say the flat has an owner. For now it's at my name, but later we'll change that and Minyu will be the owner.

"We should go for Minyu-nuna now," Jeremy proposes excited. "She'll be so happy that she finally has a place."

"I'm meeting her for dinner, maybe we can surprise her," I suggest heading to my car. We continue the conversation once we are inside.

"Yes, that's a good idea!" Jeremy chirps but Minam shakes his head.

"No, I think only Shinwoo-hyung should tell her and surprise her. He's the one who's done most to find this place and to help her," Minam says and my eyes widen in shock. "Besides, it's your dinner plans with her. We don't wanna intrude," he says with a knowing smile.

Does he know about my feelings for his sister?

"But I wanna see her face, too," Jeremy pouts and Minam pats his shoulder.

"We'll help her move in and just so you don't feel sad, I'll treat you dinner," Minam offers and Jeremy's face lights up at the mention of free dinner. I just chuckle.

So it's settled, I'll give Minyu the surprise tonight and I'll even take her to her new place. I hope she likes it. I grow more nervous by the minute and when I pick her up I'm shaking, but I try to hide it.

It's not a fancy dinner or anything, we just go out to eat because that's the only way we can find time to spend together. I'm still very busy working on the new album and it's not like I can go visit her at the convent at night and have dinner with her. Since she left the house we've started a tradition to try all the restaurants in the area. We go every time to a different one, even if it's just a different McDonalds. I gave her a tourist map the day after we decided to do this and she marks all the places we've been so far. I imagine that now in her new room she'll hang that map. I really want to see it.

Tonight we are eating Chinese, but it's not so good and we laugh when we comment this. Still, in her company, it's a great dinner and I'm feeling calmer when we finish eating.

"I have a surprise for you," I tell her and she tilts her head in that adorable way. "You have to come with me, okay? And no questions until we get there."

She laughs before nodding. "Okay. You won't scare me, will you?"

"Of course no, it's a nice surprise," I promise.

Next thing we are in my car again, driving to what will be her new home. I'm nervous again so I keep a casual conversation to distract me. I ask her about her studies and if she's having a hard time with a topic. I keep the conversation around her so she doesn't pay much attention to where I'm taking her. She only acts curious when we are in the lift. She realises we are in a residential building, which confuses her, but she still doesn't say anything and smiles nervously when I lead her to the flat. I open the door without saying a word and motion for her to enter.

"Wow," is the first thing she says. It's dark already and I knew it, the view is amazing. She runs to the window to appreciate the Seoul's night view. "This is so beautiful, Oppa! Where exactly are we?" she then turns around to look at me.

"Well," I start walking towards her. "We are in your flat," I finish and she only blinks, her expression blank.

"What?"

I laugh then and stop when I finally reach her. I stick out my hand with the keys hanging for her to grab them.

"This is your new flat, Minyu-yah. It's our present for you. Minam's, Jeremy's and mine. And don't even think of rejecting it. We already bought it so it's yours," I state but she doesn't react so I grab her hand and put the keys there.

"I-I-I-I can't," she protests but I shake my head, refusing to hear that.

"Yes you can and you will. Why won't you let us do this for you? We said we would help you, didn't we? We just want you to be in a good place so you can start your own life," I argue and now her face is showing emotion and she looks overwhelmed.

"This is... This is too much," she stutters and I chuckle, my hand reaches out for her head and I ruffle her hair in that way I love to do.

"It's not, but tell me, do you like it? Because if you don't then-"

"I do, I love it!" she cuts me off and next she bursts into a fit of giggles. "I love it. This place is beautiful." She spins around taking in her surroundings and the echo of her giggles is the most adorable thing I've heard.

She stops and faces me again, her smile wide and precious. "Thank you, Oppa. I'll take care of it and I'll pay you all back," she promises and I shake my head, taking a step closer to her.

"Just be safe here and do your best. That's all what we want you to do in return," I ask her and she nods obediently.

"I will," she states solemnly and then she's giggling again.

I can't stop smiling and I don't even realise when I step even closer and cup her face to leave a light kiss on her forehead. When I pull back her expression is shocked and her giggles have died. And then her hand shoots up to her face and now she's pressing her nose like she did in the Ferris wheel.

"Minyu-yah? What's going on? Why do you do that?" I point at her now piggy nose.

"Because... Because... Because I it helps me to breathe better!" she exclaims and I chuckle before I ruffle her hair.

"Silly, that won't help. What you have to do is to stand straight, close your eyes and breathe deep. Do that many times and you'll even feel your heart beating become steadier," I offer and she lets go of her nose. "Come on, try it," I coax her and she giggles before she actually tries it.

She stands still in front of me and closes her eyes, her breathing slow and deep. I just look at her, so beautiful and innocent, so pure and soft, so warm and welcoming. So Minyu.

My heart aches because I love her so much. Since she came back I've only fallen deeper and when I see her like this, when it's just the two of us, I die to hug her, hold her tight and feel her mine. I just want her to love me back. Why is that so impossible? I wish I could kiss her and tell her how much I love her. What would she do? Would she push me away if she knew that I haven't got over her, that I love her even more than before, that I'm still a fool for her? She told me not to be one, but I can't help it.

I don't notice how I lean closer and closer until I'm a centimetre apart from her face, my nose almost brushing hers.

She takes another deep breath and I'm lost. My lips find hers before I'm conscious of what I'm doing and I can't stop myself.

It's a light and shy touch, hesitant and scared, but a kiss nonetheless.

Her eyes shoot wide open and I pull back in one fluid movement, putting a safe distance between us. She gapes at me and my heart has stopped.

Aigoo, what have I done?


	15. Frantic

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

* * *

><p><strong>Frantic<strong>

**.**

What do I do now? What do I do what do I do what do I do now?! Oh God! How do I explain this to her? I said I didn't want to take advantage of her state and make a move.

I kissed her.

That's making a move. That's taking advantage of the situation. I'm the worst. I can't just tell her I was joking or that it didn't mean anything because she knows me, she knows I would never do such a thing, even less to her. I would never play with her or her feelings.

I told her that I was over her and now she'll know I lied.

Oh God.

Maybe I can leave without saying a thing and avoid her.

No. I can't do that, I brought her here, I can't just leave her alone in this place.

Oh, this is so awkward. And she keeps staring at me, waiting. Her eyes are wide and her mouth is slightly parted. I get distracted for a second when my eyes focus on her lips.

I kissed her. Like so many times wanted to do; like so many times I dreamt of. I really kissed her and the panic I'm feeling is not letting me enjoy the moment.

I'm freaking out inside and seeing her so frozen is only making things worse.

"Oppa?" she asks, her voice a mere whisper and I feel a shiver going down my spine. "What-?"

"Mianhae, Go Minyu. I-I don't know what to say. I just…" _I couldn't help myself, _is the truth but I can't say that out loud.

"W-why?" she insists and I look around, desperate to find a hole where I can bury myself alive.

I screwed it up!

"Oppa, look at me," she calls me and I breathe in, clench my fists and turn to face her again. "You… You kissed me." It doesn't sound like an accusation.

"Yes," I confess. _And I'm dying to kiss you again, slowly so I can really know what it feels like_, I add in my mind. I sigh heavily. "Mianhae."

"Why?" she asks again and I wish she wouldn't because I can't explain it without confessing and I can't confess now. I can't bear another rejection. There's just so much my heart can take.

"Please don't ask me that now," I beg like a coward. "I know I shouldn't have kissed you, please accept my apology."

I close my eyes tightly, scared of what might happen next. Terrified that I'll lose her also as a friend.

But I feel arms wrapping around my waist and then her body next to mine. I open my eyes and her face is resting in my chest. I can't move, I can't breathe but my heart races and hurts my ribcage with its strong beats. She'll hear it.

"Mianhae," she says and I can only blink in confusion.

"What? Why are _you_ apologising?" I inquire because I was the one who acted impulsively.

"Because you look in pain," she replies and my heart races even more. She'll definitely hear it and I won't have another option but to confess. "Am I the one causing you pain?"

_Don't, don't do this, Minyu. Please_, I beg in my mind because yes, she's hurting me but she doesn't do it on purpose. I can't force her to return my feelings.

"Minyu, please, don't do this to me," I whine but she hugs me tighter. My hands don't know what to do, whether to hug her back or to push her away. I stay in put.

"I'll tell you a secret and then you tell me one," I'm confused at the deal. "When you feel your heart is going to burst out of your chest, when you can't control it and you feel overwhelmed all you have to do is press your nose, just like this," she says and pulls back to show me the secret. She presses her nose like she's done before, looking like a cute pig.

So that's what it means…

"Try it," she says and then her hand is on my chest, on top of my beating heart. I knew she could hear it.

Hesitantly I take my hand to my face and press my nose. She rewards me with a dashing smile.

"And if that doesn't work, you have to close your eyes and take deep breaths. You'll heart calm down," she promises just like I did before. "Try it."

I don't know why but I comply, I close my eyes and take deep breaths. I don't know what she's planning and I'm too dumbfounded as to fully process what all this means.

My heart skips a beat when I feel a soft pressure on my lips. My eyes snap wide open and I see her, millimetres away from me. Kissing _me._

Minyu pulls back and smiles sweetly at me but she's blushing, she's blushing furiously and I'm not sure if my own heart is pounding blood to the rest of my body.

"S-see? Now… Now you don't have to apologise or feel bad about it because I did the same," she laughs but her voice is shaking and her breathing is heavy. "We are even."

I only blink because I'm not capable of uttering a word. She implied… She just implied that her heart was beating for me, when we were together. She was pressing her nose like this at the Ferris wheel and a while ago because her heart was racing.

I made her heart race.

Am I dreaming? Is this another of those dreams in which Minyu finally sees I'm good for her and that no one will ever love her like I do?

She switches her weight from one foot to the other, nervous as she waits. Waits for me to do something. I have to do something.

"Minyu…" I breathe out and she looks at me intensely. I can't read her expression, I can barely hear my thoughts over the sound of my heartbeats. "Let me say this in advance… Mianhae."

She barely has time to frown in confusion when I step forward and take her face in my hands just a second before I kiss her again. I feel her tense in response and her hands fly to my wrists, ready to push me away. But she doesn't and I stay where I am, kissing her.

I close my eyes and allow myself to feel, to enjoy this moment because I'm kissing her, I'm really kissing her. Her warm and soft lips that taste so sweet, I'm kissing those lips. And she melts against my body, I feel it, so my arms sneak around her and pull her closer as her own hands rest on my chest. And I deepen the kiss, softly tempting her, coaxing her to kiss me back.

And she does.

If this is a dream, it's the sweetest and best dream I've ever had and I don't want to wake up. Let me live in this moment forever.

She pulls back, though, to catch her breath and I do the same, yet my arms stay around her, keeping her next to me. I put our foreheads together and keep taking deep breaths.

"Mianhae," I say and she chuckles. Maybe she thinks I'm apologising for the kiss but that's not the case. I already apologised for that. "I lied. When I said it was okay, when I said we are only friends. I lied because I haven't got over you. Because I still feel the same way, more strongly even. I lied because… _sarangheyo_."


	16. Confession

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

* * *

><p><strong>Confession<strong>

**.**

Brave or a fool, I don't really know what I am.

She doesn't say anything and I smile sadly. I wasn't expecting a reply when I said that. In fact, I don't even know what I was thinking when I confessed. I got carried away, I lost control, I was overwhelmed by my feelings, I stopped listening to my brain and just acted impulsively. I honestly don't know, but I confessed, I kissed her and I'm still holding her, waiting I guess. I just don't know what I'm waiting for. Of course she doesn't love me back, I'm not an idiot as to believe she could say it back.

She sighs and her arms sneak around me, hugging me. She doesn't say a word.

She doesn't say a word!

She's not saying she loves me back, but she's not rejecting me either. She's not telling me to stop being a fool. She's not apologising for not returning my feelings. She is not saying she doesn't love me back. There's just silence and silence is hope.

I dare to hug her tighter and I move my face, this time hiding it in her hair and she lowers her head and rests it on the crook of my neck. She's not pulling back, she's not pushing me away.

Hope. There's hope.

My heart is beating stronger than ever, strengthened with the fire of a new born hope that this time things might go in my way. Maybe this time she'll look at me.

"Minyu-yah…" I say and wait a bit. She remains silent. "I really love you and I'm sorry if this is not the time to say it. I know it's soon and you still love Taekyung, but I can wait for you. If time is what you need to properly face me, then I'll give you all the time in the world. And if you need me to do something else, I'll do it. Anything."

I might sound desperate right now, but I'm speaking from my heart.

"I don't," she starts and I freeze. Did I hope for too much? Did I read the situation wrong? "I don't love Taekyung anymore. Or I think I don't. I haven't felt like I love him for a long time," she carries on and I can breathe again. She pulls back and looks up. Our eyes lock immediately. I see sorrow and guilt in hers. "I thought that love was all what you needed it for a relationship. I thought that even if I could love him enough for the two of us it would be enough but I… I was wrong."

One of the hands I kept around her waist raises and cups her cheek, my thumb wiping away that lonely tear that escaped. I hate seeing her hurting. I would've done anything to prevent her from finding this out. But she's growing up and pain is part of the process.

"I'm sorry you had to find that out," I say. "Love is only the ground for a relationship but for a healthy one you need so much more. I'm not an expert, but I've also had my dose of heartbreak."

She looks down for a bit because she knows, she knows very well that she broke my heart before.

"If the two people don't work together to make it work, it'll fail. If only one is committed, then that one will wear out. But heartbreak isn't forever and we all have a first love. That's what called first love, because a second will come and I'm here, Minyu, I'm here waiting for you."

I kiss her forehead and she closes her eyes. I wish I could know exactly what's in her head. I wish I could know how my words are affecting her, if they are reaching her at the very least.

"I-I can't know how I feel yet," she says and I smile at her, my hand still cupping her face. "And I don't wanna hurt you again, Oppa."

"It's okay, I'm the one taking this risk, I'm fully aware of it but love without risk is not love," I tell her with a smile that she hesitates to return. "Take the time you need, I'll try to make things easier for you. I'll try to make you _see_ me this time."

Her smile widens in that sweet and innocent way of hers and I take confidence from it. I have hope that I didn't have before and I feel stronger than ever. I can't give up on her so I can only keep fighting for her heart.

"Do you wanna leave? I'll help you move tomorrow," I say after a while. I think I've pushed her enough for one day.

Reluctantly I break the embrace and we pull away, feeling rather awkward at first.

"Okay," she agrees and looks around one more time. Her smile changes and she still looks beautiful. So beautiful.

Before we leave the flat I dare to take her hand and she's surprised. "I won't do it if you mind," I tell her rising our hands.

She shakes her head with a deep blush and I only smile. We walk out holding hands and I dare to dream that this could become something natural for us.

Am I being too ambitious?

But this, being so close to her, holding her hand and hoping for the best feels right, like it's supposed to be.

Am I allowed to dream for this to become our reality?

I open the door for her and then get in before I start the ignition. Once we are already on the road I start a casual conversation because it's been too intense up to now. "I can help you get some furniture. We can bring some things from your room in the house," I offer and she nods.

"Until I can get my own things," she clarifies and I nod.

"I'm sure Jeremy and Minam will come and help you. Don't get surprise if they get copies of the keys," I laugh and she does the same. "You'll have a better place to study and I'll come visit if you don't mind. I can compose better when you're around so if you allow me coming here with my guitar…"

I leave the sentence hanging and look at her from the corner of my eye. She flashes me a smile of her own.

"Please. It helps me to understand the subjects when we discuss it," she says and I grin like a fool because knowing we help each other makes me feel even closer to her.

"I start to believe that moving out was for the best," I muse and I notice her smile trembles a bit. "Not easy but you'll be better off in your own place. It'll help you to spread your wings."

"I hope so, Oppa," she concedes and I smile at her for a few seconds before focusing again on the road. "I'll have all the things I like. I'll hang the map you gave me and we'll keep visiting restaurants until we see them all. I'll get a guitar and I'll learn to play properly."

"I'll teach you," I cut her off and she nods excitedly.

"I'll have all the stars I want," she continues and I lose my smile. "And I'll make sure to have a big sun so I won't feel cold at night when he's not around."

I freeze at her words, not knowing exactly how to take them. I dare to see her and she's smiling brightly at me.

"I like the sun, I was underestimating it but now I want to regard him and face him properly."

Can I… Can I interpret her words as her way to refer to me? I know I'm not her favourite star, but can I be her sun like she's mine?


	17. The Sun

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

* * *

><p><strong>The Sun<strong>

**.**

I go and pick up Minyu the next morning. Last night I didn't dare to ask her what she meant with those words. Besides, we soon arrived to the convent and had to bid goodnight. On my way home later I decided that I wasn't going to ask. Once she has her feelings sorted out, she'll tell me because that's how she is: honest. She knows my feelings and that I'm waiting, so she won't torture me. I'm confident about that.

So I ought to be patient and just carry on, the only difference is that now I don't have to hide my feelings or pretend I don't see her as a friend _and_ a woman. I won't make her feel uncomfortable, either.

The reason why I'm the only one picking her is because Jeremy and Minam had to run some errands first. They said they would meet us in the flat. I already arranged for a moving truck to take all the things she had in her room to her new flat. We'll see later what we are going to do with that empty room at home. However, I don't really care. I'm hoping I'll spend more time at Minyu's flat.

"Good morning, Oppa," she says when she sees me. I hurry to grab her suitcase and take it to my car's boot.

"Morning. Are you excited?" I ask and she nods enthusiastically. "Jeremy and Minam will meet us in your flat," I tell her before she can ask.

Then we are in my car and I'm driving. I notice she's acting nervous and I wonder if it's because we are alone in her car. She had time to think about what happened last night, maybe she's feeling self conscious now. Yet something tells me it's not the case. There must be another thing that's bugging her.

"Something wrong?" I ask, startling her.

"Oh! It's that… I was wondering if hyu—if Taekyung-ssi knows you three gave me the flat and where it is. I mean, does he know about all this?" she manages to ask and I sigh. I can read the real question behind those words and it hurts a bit. She wants to know if he's been asking about her.

"He knows. When we asked to have today off he was curious that it was the three of us. Jeremy told him." Yes, he knows and he looked anxious and even sad about all this, but he's too prideful to come with us or to even ask us directly if Minyu is doing fine.

"I-I think I need to talk to him," she says and I gasp. Why? Why now? "I don't want to avoid him or feel like he hates me. I know it's over between us and I'm okay with that. I came to terms with it. But I still want to try to fix our friendship. We can't act like strangers."

I relax a bit when I understand the reason behind her words.

"If that's what you really want I can take you to him, that way I'll be nearby if something goes wrong." And that has many connotations.

"Thank you, Oppa. I'll let you know when I'm ready."

I only nod and keep driving until we get there. I help her again with her suitcase and then wait for her to open her flat. We both are surprised to see it fully equipped and with Jeremy and Minam waiting inside.

"Congratulations, Go Minyu!" they cheer and throw confetti. I had no idea they were planning this. "This is our present," Minam adds waving with his arm to point all the furniture that last night wasn't there. "It's just the basics so we don't have to sit and eat on the floor."

Minyu is so surprised she can't utter words, she only gapes. She only reacts when Jeremy comes running to hug her tightly.

"I-I-I don't know what to say. This… Wow… Thank you so much but you didn't have to. Why did you—?"

"Because we love you and we want to help you. Shinwoo-hyung did the most with the flat so we wanted to be even," Jeremy explains offhandedly and Minyu shakes her head, giving up.

"Come in, come in. Your room is already settled. Let's go!" Jeremy sings and she laughs at his excitement, but she follows him nonetheless.

We help her settle and get accustomed to her new flat. She and I prepare lunch together and in general we have a great time. It's evident she's happy and that puts me at ease. Since she left the house she always looked at least a bit sad. Yes, I could make her laugh and smile honestly, but it was always briefly; her sad eyes always came back. Now she actually looks fine, renewed. Surely it's because she can finally start her independent life. I'm really happy for her.

We spend the whole day together and it's very late when we decide it's time to go home. We asked for this day off but tomorrow we have work to do. We need to catch up and finish the album once and for all.

Minam and Jeremy say good night and depart first, leaving us alone to part ways.

"Oppa, do you have to go?" she asks, surprising me.

"Uh, not necessarily. Do you need help with something?"

She shakes her head. "No, I just… I just want you to stay a bit longer." She's completely blushed when she says that and her eyes are fixed on the floor, which is good because that way she doesn't see the foolish smile on my face.

"Of course I can stay a bit longer then. In fact, I have a present for you that I forgot to give you when I saw all what Jeremy and Minam did. I'll go for it, okay?" She nods and I rush to my car to grab the present I bought. It's something small but it has a heavy meaning.

I'm back in no time and she flashes me a smile when she opens the door. Once it's closed I hand her the package.

"You three are spoiling me rot! Seriously, you have to stop giving me so many presents."

"As Jeremy said, it's because we love you," I say and I know she knows my love is different from theirs. "Go on, open it."

And she does and discovers the tea set I've given her. It's a set for two people, yellow with a painted sun. I saw it a few days ago and bought it thinking that, like how it happened with the shoes and flowers, I would never give it to her.

"It's so pretty, Oppa! I love it," she grins at me happily. "I'll think of you every time I use it."

I smile contently because that's exactly what I want her to do. "Shall I prepare some tea for us then?"

She nods and I start to work. I love doing this for the two of us, I feel it's a ritual only us can do. None of the other members of ANJell will do this for her. This is only _ours_.

I hands her the cup and she wraps her hands around it before lifting it to smell it. She closes her eyes to enjoy the scent.

"The smell and warmth is so comforting. Tea always reminds me of you: calm, sweet and comforting. You're always there for me, Oppa."

"And I'll say here for as long as you want me," I reply and her smile turns even kinder.

"When I was in Ghana there was a British girl volunteering, too. She prepared tea for us but it was different. I drank it anyways but you were always in my mind and those were the moments I missed you the most, it physically hurt. There was a sharp pain in my chest and I just wanted you to be there with me, drinking tea and smiling kindly as you always do. As you're doing right now. You've always been so special to me," she says and I feel my chest tightening. "I feel like I didn't appreciate you enough because Taekyung-ssi was all I could see. He's so bright that I can't even see all the other stars, but the moment I started seeing another piece of the sky, I noticed many other things. I saw how big the world is and when I came back everything looked different."

"You came back different," I comment. "More mature and wiser. You still are pure and innocent, but you're not naïve anymore."

"I'm glad. I don't want to overlook things ever again. I want to see it all in the daylight," she confesses and I feel so proud.

I ruffle her hair like I always do and she makes her cute face that I love so much. "That's good because the world's been waiting for you to see it. I've been waiting."

"You really are like my sun, Oppa. The closest to me and you help me see everything."

My heart skips a beat when I hear her words, happiness making me feel bubbly because she does… She considers me her sun. She finally does.


	18. Over

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

* * *

><p><strong>Over<strong>

**.**

It's been over a week when she finally asks me to take her to Taekyung. During this time we've been doing pretty much the same. I go visit her almost every day after work. We have dinner together and then she studies and I work on some song. I ask her for her opinion and sometimes she asks me about certain topic and we discuss about it until it's clear for both of us. Jeremy and Minam join us some days and we have loads of fun and now Minyu always looks honestly happy. The sad eyes come in rare occasions when something reminds her of Taekyung. And she's been doing so fine that I feel reluctant to take her to him because I don't want to see her heartbroken again.

Between us things are like they were before. I haven't asked her about her feelings for me, I haven't mentioned mine. I'm giving her all the time she needs and when she's ready to take a step forward, I know she will do it.

"Are you sure?" I ask her and she nods.

I know I promised I would take her but I'm still scared. I don't want to see her crying like that again, I don't want her to feel that kind of pain. But most of all I'm scared that once she sees him again her feelings will come alive again and she'll get blinded by his light. He's, after all, her favourite star. She can fall for him all over again if he smiles at her, if he's kind to her, if he begs her to take him back.

I've avoided Taekyung as much as I can, we only talk about work and the tension between us is clear. He knows I'm at Minyu's side, that when I'm not home I'm with her and I know he still loves her. Although sometimes I think he only wants her back because he doesn't want anyone else to have her, because he sees her as a possession.

I'm afraid that I might lose the little progress I've made with her. I'm terrified of losing her again.

"Yes, it's time," she says and I sigh heavily

I promised I would take her, I must stay true to my word. And that's how I find myself driving to our band house, towards her first love. My heart is beating scared and anxious and I take short glimpses at her from time to time. She's fidgeting and her eyes wander everywhere, incapable of focusing on a single thing. She's as nervous as I am but I bet it's for very different reasons.

I park but I don't get out and neither does her. Still in my seat, I turn around to look at her and she does the same. She looks so small and scared now, like a wild doe.

I cup her face as gently as I can and lean closer before whispering, "no matter what, I'll be here waiting for you, arassi?" And I mean that in every sense.

I want to leave something with her, anything that will remind her I'm here, waiting for her, when she's with him but what can I give her? I sigh and just pray for things to go well for me this time. I lean closer and kiss her forehead as softly as I can. When I pull apart her cheeks are bright red and her smile is nervous before she presses her nose. I chuckle and take that as a good sign.

We get out the car and I walk with her inside. In the kitchen we find Minam peeling some oranges.

"Minyu? What are you doing here?" he asks and she smiles at him.

"I came to talk to Taekyung-ssi," she explains and her brother's eyes widen in horror.

"Why?! I thought you … I thought you and Shinwoo-hyung were… But…" he mumbles and I look down, embarrassed and happy that he thought Minyu and I had something. Pleased also because he doesn't approve of Taekyung for his sister.

"I have to, Oppa. Taekyung is important to me and I don't want to part in bad terms," she explains but he still looks unconvinced.

_I feel you, Go Minam._

"Are you sure?" he asks and she nods. "He's in the music room," he provides next and she smiles gratefully.

Next she turns to look at me, her eyes ask me if I can go with her and I guess she needs that little push. If I refuse, would she still go to him? I push that thought aside and I nod so we leave the kitchen and head to the music room. As we approach I can hear the piano. It's a new song.

I stop once we are at the door and she looks extremely nervous now but takes a deep breath and walks in. I don't know why I stay there, I really don't want to eavesdrop but I can't make my feet walk away. I wonder if I'm a masochist at some level.

I hear the piano stopping but I can't hear their words. Maybe they are not saying anything… Maybe they are embracing.

Yes, I am a masochist.

I lean on the wall and breathe out a heavy sigh. What am I doing? I have to go, there's nothing I can do here. Whatever happens is now up to them, up to him. Is he able to win her back? Why is so easy for him? No matter how hard I try, he smiles and he's all what she can see.

I'm about to leave, defeated because there's no way I can win over Taekyung when I hear something.

"No!" It's her voice, raising. "That's not how it works, that's not how it is anymore. It's been almost a month and you never called, you never texted. Don't tell me now you've missed me," she continues and I clench my fists.

He is trying to win her back.

"You're important to me, Taekyung-ssi, and I don't want to stop being your friend," she adds in a softer tone, I have to make an effort to hear. "But things are not the way they used to. I changed."

"But I love you and you love me, you've said it. I'm your star, aren't I?" he questions and I wish I could see what kind of face she's making.

"Love is not enough to make it work and I do love you, but not like that anymore. The sky is full of stars and you'll always be the brightest, but also the farthest away from me. I can't be by your side, Taekyung."

"Minyu…" he calls, a plead.

"I'm sorry, I just want things to be okay between us. I want us to be friends."

"Is it because of Kang Shinwoo?" he asks and I tense up.

"No," she replies and I feel like someone punched me in the guts. "It's because of us, because of me. It didn't work and it won't work. Forcing this will only hurt us further. Regardless of my feelings for Shinwoo-Oppa, we're breaking up because we can't be together, it doesn't work. And _if_ I have feelings for him, I hope you could wish us the best, support us because you want us to be happy. I want _you _to be happy, no matter next to whom. Because I loved you so much once, I want you to be happy next to the person that _can_ be with you and keep up with you. I'm not that person," she says and I don't need to see her to know tears are streaming down her face. Her voice is shaky and filled with pain.

"I can't do that," he says and I feel anger raising in my soul. Why can't he put her first? If she asked me to let her go to be happy with someone else, I would because that's what matters the most, her happiness! I did that once. "I can't. Not now, at least," he insists and I'm so frustrated. Whom does he love best? Her or himself?

"I hope one day you can. Thank you for everything, Taekyung-ssi. Please be happy and I hope we can call ourselves friends again one day."

"Minyu… Minyu!" he calls louder. "Mianhae."

She doesn't say anything to that and I wonder what's happening now. What is she doing?

I hear footstep and I jerk, afraid I might get caught eavesdropping until she shows up in front of me, with her face stained with tears and a weak, defeated smile. I step forward, trying to reach her but I stop one step away. I know she's hurting, I know it's shattering her inside to do this. I can see it in her face so clearly and that breaks my heart for many reasons.

"Are you okay?" I ask weakly.

Se shakes her head and I feel desperate. I don't get to do anything before she closes the distance between us and looks for comfort in my arms. I hug her tighter and stroke her hair in a shooting way.

"I'm not…" She whispers with her face in the crock of my neck. "But I'll be. I'll be fine."


	19. Hurting

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

* * *

><p><strong>Hurting<strong>

**.**

I take her to the kitchen although I know I should take her away as fast as I can. Taekyung is around, he might decide not to give up, which would only hurt her deeper. But I don't want her to feel like she's running away. She said she didn't want to avoid him so I won't make her do it. Even if he comes after her again, she has to deal with that. I can't shield her from that because, in a way, by doing that I'm hurting her in another way.

Whatever happens, I'll support her. If she regrets this choice and wants to try again with him… I'll support her. If she decides to walk away from all this… I'll support her. If she decides to give me a chance… I'll support her. It's her life, I can't make the decisions for her.

I don't ask her whether she wants some tea or not, I just brew some for her and sit by her side. She hasn't said another word and she looks rather dead. All the colour has drained from her face and she's deep in thought. I have to make her hold the cup so she can realise she must drink it. And I wait, I just wait until she organises her thoughts and decides what to do next.

This takes over twenty minutes. Taekyung never shows up, Jeremy and Minam show up and express their confusion and worry but I tell them to just leave us alone.

"I hurt him…" she finally whispers and I get it then. Her tone, the way her eyes look only at the bottom of the cup tell me that what hurts her the most is not definitely breaking up with him, it's hurting him… Because she still loves him. I guess a part of her will always love him. I've heard you never truly forget your first love.

"You didn't do it on purpose, Minyu-yah. And you're also hurting. Some roads are more painful than others, but necessary. Do you think doing this was necessary?" I question and she sighs.

"Yes," is her answer. "I just wish it hadn't been like this."

I reach out to grab her hand, pulling it away from the cup and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"He'll be fine. It might take time but he'll be fine, just like you'll be fine," I tell her, reminding her of what she said before.

She looks at me, her eyes filled with sadness and gratitude.

"Oppa, thank you for always being by my side, even if it's hard for you."

I smile at her and raise our hands to my lips. I place a kiss on the back of hers. "That's what you do for the people you love. You sacrifice for them, you support them. You put them first, even if that causes you pain. Even if that hurts them, you do it because you want the best for them in the long term."

She looks down for a moment and I know she's thinking, questioning how much she loved Taekyung and she's also pondering how much he loved her. I don't doubt he indeed loved her… I just think he loves himself more and that he didn't love her enough.

"You deserve someone who loves you that way, the way you love, Oppa," she states and I feel my heart squeezing because I know she doesn't mean her. It's in her eyes

I shake my head, refusing to believe that. I don't care if she can't love me the way I love her or as much as I love her, I just want her to love me, even a little bit. I'm content with even a piece of her heart. It gives me the chance to hope and work to get more, to never take her for granted, to always fight for her.

"Just a bit… love me a little bit," I whisper and now she's the one squeezing my hand.

"You deserve more than that," she complains and I keep shaking my head.

"Just a bit. I'll work hard, I'll do my best for that bit to grow and grow but I need you to take that first step."

"Oppa," she says and fear paralyses me, dread runs in my veins.

Here comes again, the rejection, the heartbreak and it's going to be worse, it's going to be ruthless this time because I had hopes. I had more hopes than before.

Being an optimistic is a bad choice.

"I'll see you home," I say before she can utter the words that'll shatter my heart and soul. "You need to take rest properly. There's work tomorrow!" I stand up and turn on my heels, ready to leave. She calls me softly but I ignore her. "Come on, you don't want me to come back too late, right?" I look at her over my shoulder and she shakes her head before she rises to her feet and follows me.

I know I'm being coward, that I'm running away and postponing the heartbreak but aren't I allowed even that? Can't I get at least prepared this time? Can't I get a break before I expose myself for the final blow? I'm not asking that much.

I drive in silence, I don't even dare to look at her and I drop her at home in the same awkward silence. I don't even go inside when she asks me if I want to come in. I just shake my head and bid her goodnight. But I don't drive home, instead I stay in my car, waiting… waiting.

And then it comes, the first wave of pain, anger, frustration and defeat. They wash over me, wrap me, shake me and leave me there, like an open wound.

I hit the steering wheel and scream at the top of my lungs. I curse my luck, I shout in agony because I'm tired, I'm so tired of this destiny. She can't love me even a little bit. Even that it's too much for her. She's not with Taekyung anymore but she doesn't want to be with me.

Why? Why me? Why do I have to love her this much? Am I supposed only to suffer from this one-sided love? No wonder why people call it the most painful kind of love.

After ten minutes crying my anger and pain, I melt against the steering wheel, I just lean on it like a dead body, spacing out. I don't know what else to do, how to manage this pain inside that's burning from the deep parts of my soul. It's time to give up, once and for all. Even I have a limit and I can't keep doing this.

I quit.


	20. Finally

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

_This is the last chapter. There's only the epilogue left. I want to thank every person that read her and especially to those who left comments. Thank you so much. Sarangheyo! Please enjoy the chapter._

* * *

><p><strong>Finally<strong>

**.**

"Thank you, President Ahn," I say bowing in front of the president of the label.

"You just work hard to make out of this album another success. Jackpot!" he shouts with his characteristic enthusiasm.

I smile at him and bow again before taking my leave. I asked him to meet today to request for something. We are about to finish the album and I want some short vacations after that. I just want a bit of time for myself, to put things in order, to heal. I want to feel stronger when I face Minyu and I have to hear her definite rejection. I know that avoiding her is not the right thing to do, especially now when she needs me by her side after breaking up with Taekyung, but I can't. Not this time. Quitting means I will think of what is best for me, too, and postponing the heartbreak is what I need to do now. Seeing her would make me reconsider my decision. If I'm by her side I'm afraid I won't be able to keep my word. I'll find an excuse to keep loving her even if that only hurts.

No. I'm doing the right thing. She doesn't want to be with me, she can't love me and I need to give her space so she can really meet that person she'll love and be with.

I walk to the studio and I dive into loads of work. For a week it is all I focus on. Finishing the songs, recording my parts the best I can. I pour all my feelings in the music, the heartbreak, frustration, longing, and of course, all my love. Every song I wrote that made it to the album is inspired by her, what makes them more painful.

I don't visit her, I even stay longer than Taekyung in the studio. One night I even fall asleep there. Everything to avoid her and give me strength. I know Jeremy and Minam make time to go and see her, they even ask me a few times if I want to go with them but I refuse. Minam tells me later that Minyu is asking for me, but the answer is the same I text her: I just want to focus on finish this album first.

But once it's done I don't have more excuses and I know it. I'm aware my time is running out and it's time to face the inevitable.

"I'm so excited! We have a whole week off," Jeremy celebrates when we are leaving the studio after having the official first listen to the whole album as a final product.

"It's been a rough last week. I'm gonna sleep the seven days," Minam comments and I chuckle. I don't know about seen days but I think he can easily sleep three days in a row.

"What are you gonna do, Hyung?" Jeremy asks Taekyung and he smiles faintly.

"I have plans with my mother," he says and it's the first time he openly speaks about her to us. I'm aware things are extremely awkward between them, that she practically rejected him for her fame, but they are working on fixing their relationship. I know she's the reason behind Taekyung's obsessive behaviour and all his issues and I'm sure that until he gets to term with his mother, he won't be able to properly love someone.

"That's great! Family time is important," Jeremy beams and then his eyes are on me. We are almost at the van, we only have to face the sea of fans always waiting outside. "What about you, hyung?"

"Family time, too," I explain and Minam snaps his head to gape at me. What did he think I was going to do? "I'll go visit my family. It's been a while and I miss them." It's true that I miss them but I'm mostly going to my roots to heal, to find myself again. To let go of my love for Minyu.

"I thought you would… I mean I know you asked president to give us this vacations so I thought it was to be with…" he sees Taekyung tensing and realises he can't continue his sentence there.

I shake my head. I certainly didn't ask for this vacation to spend time with Minyu. "I'm leaving tomorrow morning, in fact."

Our conversation stops because we have to go through the sea of fans, greeting them and signing autographs and we only resume our chat once we're in the van.

"We are going to see Minyu-nuna tonight. She's cooking for us! Come with us, hyung," Jeremy tells me. "You have to say goodbye before you leave or Nuna is gonna be worried. She's been worried about you."

I don't really want to go see her yet, I'm scared, but I know I have to. Maybe, considering Jeremy and Minam will be there, I won't have to hear the rejection now. Or maybe I should hear it, get my heart broken once again and then leave.

Still unsure about it, I only nod in response.

We make it home and after taking showers and changing clothes we are off. Taekyung leaves immediately, too, and wishes us all a good time and we do the same. Next thing we are in my car and I'm driving to Minyu's place. I'm shaking and I try to keep the collected expression, but my heart is beating so strongly, not only because I'm wary of this moment, also because I've missed her so much and I want to see her. I'm dying to see her smile, to be near and hear her lovely voice.

I'm too conflicted when we are waiting in front of the door. When she opens my heart skips a beat. How can she be so beautiful? Did she get prettier in this time we were apart? She greets us with a big smile but then she notices I'm also there and her face lights up.

"Oppa!" she cries out and takes a step closer.

I smile and take a step back, action that makes her stop. "Hello, Go Minyu," I say and my voice sounds foreign to me. Jeremy and Minam walk inside, leaving us alone there and I see how Minyu's expression changes from delight to confusion. "May I come in?"

She blinks in confusion but moves aside so I can walk in. I try to tell my heart to cool down, but her proximity has it racing again.

"Nuna, Hyung is leaving to see his family during our vacations so now this dinner is to celebrate we finished the album and to wish him a good trip!" Jeremy states and I don't need to turn to look at her to see her expression, but I do and shock is written all over her face. Shock and disappointment. I look away and pretend I didn't notice, I don't even dare to interpret what that might mean.

We have dinner but I barely talk and I refuse to make eye contact with her. I'm conscious everyone notices there's something off with me, but I don't want and don't have to explain things to them. And when it's time to leave Minyu grabs my hand, stopping me.

"Oppa, can you stay a bit longer?" she asks when Jeremy and Minam already walked out the flat.

"I can't today. I drove us all here so Jeremy and Minam are waiting and I have preparations to make. I'm leaving tomorrow morning," I reply and her grip on my wrist tightens.

"It's important, please," she insists and my chest squeezes. I want to give in, I want to give her all what she wants but I quit, I can't do that anymore.

"I'm sorry. When I come back we can talk about whatever you have to say," _when I feel stronger and can look at you without dying to hug you._

Her grip loosens and I'm free. I turn to look at her and her eyes are on the floor, a sad expression drawn on her face. "I'll see you around."

"Have a good flight, Oppa. I'll miss you," she says and her words break my heart.

_I'm missing you already, _I say in my mind and I do something that breaks me inside, but at the same time it's my way to say goodbye. I reach out and ruffle her hair and she looks up surprised. I step forward and kiss her forehead, painstakingly.

"Goodbye, Go Minyu," I say in more than one sense.

I get to see her teary eyes before I walk out and I'm surprised when I don't see Jeremy and Minam waiting. I call them and they tell me they thought I would stay longer so they called a taxi. So I drive home alone and the emptiness inside is eating me alive. But I carry on, I keep pushing and pushing until it's the next day and I'm at the airport, waiting to check in.

I get flashbacks of the first time I told her to face me, to love me… And she picked Taekyung. I asked her to come with me to Bussan but she picked him, she stayed with him. Back then I knew she wouldn't come, but I still asked her.

Foolish me.

It's time to stop hoping, time to start moving on.

"Kang Shinwoo," I hear a soft voice calling my name.

I turn around only to be shocked by Minyu's presence right in front of me. What—what is she doing here? Why is she here?

"Go Minyu… what are you doing here?" I ask, dumbfounded.

She blushes and only then I notice the bag she's carrying and that she lets hit the floor. "Once, you asked me to go with you, to forget about Taekyung and go with you," she says and I take a sharp breath. "But I didn't go. And you've asked me again to face you and love you but you asked me for a little bit, and I can't do that," she carries on and I look around. Did she come here just to reject me? Couldn't she wait until I came back? "You deserve more than just a little. I refuse to love you just a little, to give just a little bit in return."

I can't face her, I don't want her to see my expression right now, my eyes welling up with tears.

"I once told you that when I was in Ghana and I drank tea without you it physically hurt how much I missed you. This week you stayed away, when I was having a cup of tea even if it was warm I felt so cold, so cold it burned inside. I missed you so much I was in pain," she continues and my head turns to see her again. She's blushing, she's anxious but she's also determined and I don't know where she's going with this anymore.

"And because I realised how much I missed you when you were around but at the same time away from me is that I realised how much I love you." She looks up and our eyes meet. I don't dare to take a breath, I don't dare to move. "I didn't want to just love you a little bit, I wanted to love you wholeheartedly before I could face you properly because you deserve my whole heart and more, not just a little bit." She takes a deep breath and looks me intently in the eyes. "Don't ask me to give you a little bit of my heart because I won't. I'll give you my whole heart."

My heart stops and then bursts out, beating like crazy and even my breathing is irregular. I don't know if this is a dream, I don't know what to feel.

"Oppa, what I'm asking is may I go with you this time? Will you let me?"

I take a sharp breath and I'm shaking. She's staring at me, waiting, expecting and I'm frozen. Is this really happening?

"Minyu… You mean that you... You…"

"Sarangheyo," she says and it takes me five seconds to fully grasp what she's said.

She loves me. She really loves me. She's here, telling me she loves me and that she wants to go with me. To see my family. She's facing me. What I've been waiting all this time, it's finally happening.

I drop my own bag and step forward, my heart beating so strongly I can hear it above the cacophony of the airport. I take her face in my shaking hands and notice she's shaking, too.

"Do you really love me?" I ask. This is too good to be true, I don't know how to react. I was preparing for the worst, I'm used to the worst.

She nods with a shy smile. "I do, very much. I'm sorry I took so l—"

I don't let her finish, my lips are on hers before she finishes the sentence. I'm so happy I feel like I can burst out. I hug her tightly when she kisses me back, when she leans even closer.

It's true.

It's happening.

Finally.

I got her.


	21. Epilogue

**DISCLAIMER****_: I do not own any of the characters and backgrounds. I do not have any other goal but to fulfil my shipping heart with my OTP._**

_And it's completed! Thank you all for reading it. If you would like to read a story about Yonghwa and Shinhye (Dooley couple forever!) I invite you all to visit my AsianFanFics profile because I'll start one soon ;)_

* * *

><p><strong>Epilogue<strong>

**.**

I walk holding her hand, guiding her to my home. I still can't believe she's here with me. We took longer because I had to cancel my ticket and book another one, with her. I didn't mind at all. I'm here with her, about to show her my home, the places where I grew up. We are here and I'll finally introduce her to my parents as my girlfriend. Not because it's a pretence, for real.

"I'm a bit nervous," she says when we are in front of my house and I take our hands to my lips to place a kiss on hers.

"Don't worry, even if they didn't know you were coming, they'll be happy. They've wanted to meet you since I came that time."

That seems to only make her more nervous so I pull her for a hug and kiss her forehead. I can't believe I can do this freely.

"It's gonna be all right, I promise."

So we walk inside together and she holds on to me very tightly.

"Appa, Omma, I'm home," I call and soon I hear rushed steps coming in our way. My mother shows up and stops on her spot when she sees the girl next to me.

"Aigoo! Is this the famous Go Minyu?" she questions and the girl next to me bows quickly. "Aigoo, it is! Appa! Shinwoo brought his girlfriend!" she calls out loud and then walks up to us to take a closer look. "Omo, you're as lovely as Shinwoo described!"

I chuckle. My mother is so enthusiastic and she's making Minyu blush deeply. Next, my mother's attention is on me and her happiness is even more evident. She hugs me the moment my father walks in.

"Welcome home, son," he says and smiles at both us. He's calm and collected, the opposite of my mother. I'm more similar to my father, that's clear.

"Please, please, be seated," Mother calls and next we are sitting in front of my parents, my mother can't stop looking at Minyu.

"I'm so happy he brought you here," she says to Minyu. "We were really sad when you couldn't make it before. Shinwoo was very sad, too. What a wonderful surprise this is!"

"I'm happy to be here and meet you," Minyu says, bowing again.

"Tell me, Minyu-yah, did Shinwoo give you what I sent you?" she asks and Minyu looks confused.

I take her hand under the table and give her a little squeeze.

"Yes, it's at home waiting for her return. I showed it to her the moment I came back," I reply for her and her eyes widen, understanding what my mother means.

"It's lovely, thank you very much," Minyu says and my mother claps her hands in delight.

"That's for the woman my Shinwoo truly loves, so take care of it, arassi?"

We look at each other and she smiles lovingly at me.

"I take care of it with my life," she says, her eyes never leaving me.

I smile brightly at her, all my happiness overflowing and overwhelming me. She's accepted my heart and she's given me hers in return. There's nothing else I could ask for. I have all I need to be happy.

**The End**


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